--- product_id: 8292917 title: "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life" price: "€ 45.82" currency: EUR in_stock: true reviews_count: 8 url: https://www.desertcart.hr/products/8292917-stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-drama store_origin: HR region: Croatia --- # Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life **Price:** € 45.82 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life - **How much does it cost?** € 45.82 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.hr](https://www.desertcart.hr/products/8292917-stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-drama) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life [Fjelstad, Margalis] on desertcart.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life Review: Moving forward feels GOOD - I wish I had come across this resource 10-20 years ago! It is clear, concise, straightforward, helpful, healing, insightful, empowering and so much more. It is the missing piece that I have been longing for after years of counseling, self-help books, and an absolutely poor marriage complete with negative effects on the children. Having new knowledge, a new way to process information and new tools of engagement has been transformative for me - my physical and mental health and my own measure of happiness to name but a few. And that’s the point, right? For the first time in a very long time, i am in control of myself, including being a happy, whole, autonomous person moving in a positive direction despite how any other person in my life may act. I have a new career, a long-term plan for myself. Where I used to feel selfish for taking care of myself, I now prioritize it without apology. Having grown up under what I now recognize as a parent with some serious narcissistic behaviors, I was literally blind to manipulation. I simply didn't know any better. On pages 114-115, the author states that learning this knowledge means you can never unlearn it: "You are stepping into a maturing process in yourself that eventually becomes irreversible. When out understanding and our skills in the world increase and mature, we rarely, if ever, go back to being less aware or less skilled or wanting less of the good things that have come into our lives." I see things in people that I hadn't been aware of before, let along know how to respond, protect myself, or move forward. This world is rife with manipulation on multiple levels! I highly recommend the book for everyone whether or not they are dealing with an active instance of being invoiced with a BP or Nar. It should be required reading for all somewhere in high school. Oh how different my life may have been if I had known any of this in my earlier years! Review: Infinite number of stars, because this book will have an immeasurably positive impact in my life. - I don't know where to start. The book is dead on. It's humbling and comforting and empowering. Humbling to realize the part I play--and boggling that I couldn't see it on my own. Comforting to understand certain traits in myself that baffled me. And ultimately, empowering to know that little by little I can create a complete life--hopefully one with less fatigue, fewer migraines, less anaphylactic shock, and less muscle pain. Sound like you? ;-) I've mostly been living in the cut-off part of the caretaker spectrum (avoidance), where I knew I had vulnerabilities, but I didn't understand them. I knew I possessed traits that made me excel professionally (in a helping profession) but did not serve me well personally. I could go on, but I think I'd write a book. There are a lot of good books out there to supplement this one. One possibility might be Feeling Good by David Burns, MD. It's basically on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There's a workbook, too, that's well reviewed, although I haven't bought it (I kind of made my own workbook). For example, right now, even in the mostly cut-off caretaker phase, I have some people trying to suck the life out of me. From a CBT standpoint, I try to switch my internal response from a flight or flight involving the f-bomb (which I don't tell them, hence the migraines) to: "This moment is a gift. Think of the part I played--how I wanted to help them when I first met them, thinking that'd be adequate to alleviate their anxiety. Yeah, stop doing that when I meet people. When I have the urge to help, remember this crazy-making moment. Instead, evaluate the situation and myself first." Joseph Shannon, PhD, whose seminars I've taken through the Institute for Brain Potential (and who led me to realize that borderline personality disorder (BPD) probably best described a parent, and I knew that understanding that parent would lead to self-awareness) advises that you hold strict, unwavering boundaries when you first meet someone with BPD. Dr. Fjelstad's book mostly addresses how to handle things once they're in your life. It's such a huge issue, that many sources are probably best. Dr. Fjelstad's book is at the top for me. Thank you, Dr. Fjelstad! May God bless you and yours. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #39,114 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #13 in Mood Disorders (Books) #17 in Personality Disorders (Books) #51 in Codependency (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars (2,155) | | Dimensions | 6.05 x 0.65 x 8.95 inches | | Edition | Reprint | | ISBN-10 | 1442238321 | | ISBN-13 | 978-1442238329 | | Item Weight | 2.31 pounds | | Language | English | | Print length | 228 pages | | Publication date | August 14, 2014 | | Publisher | Rowman & Littlefield | ## Images ![Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71YVjFrKwtL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Moving forward feels GOOD *by S***R on June 12, 2020* I wish I had come across this resource 10-20 years ago! It is clear, concise, straightforward, helpful, healing, insightful, empowering and so much more. It is the missing piece that I have been longing for after years of counseling, self-help books, and an absolutely poor marriage complete with negative effects on the children. Having new knowledge, a new way to process information and new tools of engagement has been transformative for me - my physical and mental health and my own measure of happiness to name but a few. And that’s the point, right? For the first time in a very long time, i am in control of myself, including being a happy, whole, autonomous person moving in a positive direction despite how any other person in my life may act. I have a new career, a long-term plan for myself. Where I used to feel selfish for taking care of myself, I now prioritize it without apology. Having grown up under what I now recognize as a parent with some serious narcissistic behaviors, I was literally blind to manipulation. I simply didn't know any better. On pages 114-115, the author states that learning this knowledge means you can never unlearn it: "You are stepping into a maturing process in yourself that eventually becomes irreversible. When out understanding and our skills in the world increase and mature, we rarely, if ever, go back to being less aware or less skilled or wanting less of the good things that have come into our lives." I see things in people that I hadn't been aware of before, let along know how to respond, protect myself, or move forward. This world is rife with manipulation on multiple levels! I highly recommend the book for everyone whether or not they are dealing with an active instance of being invoiced with a BP or Nar. It should be required reading for all somewhere in high school. Oh how different my life may have been if I had known any of this in my earlier years! ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Infinite number of stars, because this book will have an immeasurably positive impact in my life. *by A***R on December 3, 2016* I don't know where to start. The book is dead on. It's humbling and comforting and empowering. Humbling to realize the part I play--and boggling that I couldn't see it on my own. Comforting to understand certain traits in myself that baffled me. And ultimately, empowering to know that little by little I can create a complete life--hopefully one with less fatigue, fewer migraines, less anaphylactic shock, and less muscle pain. Sound like you? ;-) I've mostly been living in the cut-off part of the caretaker spectrum (avoidance), where I knew I had vulnerabilities, but I didn't understand them. I knew I possessed traits that made me excel professionally (in a helping profession) but did not serve me well personally. I could go on, but I think I'd write a book. There are a lot of good books out there to supplement this one. One possibility might be Feeling Good by David Burns, MD. It's basically on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There's a workbook, too, that's well reviewed, although I haven't bought it (I kind of made my own workbook). For example, right now, even in the mostly cut-off caretaker phase, I have some people trying to suck the life out of me. From a CBT standpoint, I try to switch my internal response from a flight or flight involving the f-bomb (which I don't tell them, hence the migraines) to: "This moment is a gift. Think of the part I played--how I wanted to help them when I first met them, thinking that'd be adequate to alleviate their anxiety. Yeah, stop doing that when I meet people. When I have the urge to help, remember this crazy-making moment. Instead, evaluate the situation and myself first." Joseph Shannon, PhD, whose seminars I've taken through the Institute for Brain Potential (and who led me to realize that borderline personality disorder (BPD) probably best described a parent, and I knew that understanding that parent would lead to self-awareness) advises that you hold strict, unwavering boundaries when you first meet someone with BPD. Dr. Fjelstad's book mostly addresses how to handle things once they're in your life. It's such a huge issue, that many sources are probably best. Dr. Fjelstad's book is at the top for me. Thank you, Dr. Fjelstad! May God bless you and yours. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hardcore BPD help. *by L***N on August 24, 2025* For those unfortunate enough to become 'entangled' in a BPD relationship this book provides some solace. The book does not beat about the bush and accurately describes how confounding the whole experience can be. Towards the end it delivers practical steps on how to respond to your BPD person, set boundaries on what behavior you are going to tolerate and yes, get on with your life. ## Frequently Bought Together - Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life - Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.hr/products/8292917-stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-drama](https://www.desertcart.hr/products/8292917-stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist-how-to-end-drama) --- *Product available on Desertcart Croatia* *Store origin: HR* *Last updated: 2026-06-25*