The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

Very good book. Well written and biblical. It’s also well organized and very practical. A must read for all Christians.

The Peacemaker is the most helpful guide I have found to assist Christians in resolving conflict. It takes an uncommonly Biblical approach, leading one through a process designed to foster reconciliation, to God's glory. One is instructed in ways to "get the log out of your eye"; to "go and show your brother his faults," and to "go and be reconciled." These principles are applied to a variety of situations: third-party conciliation, forgiveness, confession, church discipline, self-examination, conflict assessment, and more.Sande continually reminds his readers that conflict is a great opportunity to see the Gospel lived out in radical ways. By this God is glorified in ways the world cannot explain. This must be the focus of all peacemaking: "whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (I Cor. 10:31).While Sande provides an abundance of practical techniques for implementing his understanding of Biblical principle of peacemaking, these by themselves cannot accomplish what is needed. The methods only provide opportunities for reconciliation, but true reconciliation is always a heart issue. In the end, all of Sande's steps and procedures must happen through faith alone in Christ alone. Apart from him we can do nothing (John 15:5). And simply going through the motions, however precisely, cannot serve as a substitute for the work of the Holy Spirit, who alone can apply Christ's work of reconciliation to us. Conflict may cease on the surface, and hostilities can be contained or sublimated, but true reconciliation cannot happen apart from the Holy Spirit giving the parties a growing experience of what Christ has done to reconcile us to the Father (2 Cor. 5:18-20).Since teaching the Peacemaker c.e. series in 2000, I have seen these concepts at work in the life of our church family. I stock extra copies of the "Peacemaker Pledge" pamphlet on our fellowship table on Sundays and in my office. I have been amazed at how this tool can often humble people and redirect the focus of their concerns from their own agenda to God's glory.But I have also seen the Peacemaker materials misused. People can go through the steps of Sande's book explicitly and methodically, but the focus can be misdirected from God's glory to the person's own hurt. If one starts from a self-righteous place it can poison all the steps of Sande's book.This is a reminder that we cannot engineer what we desire, but are completely dependant on the Lord's grace for true reconciliation. The only One capable of real peacemaking is "the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep" (Heb. 13:20).

Straightforward and lots of great examples and scripture to reinforce the principles

This is an excellent Biblical guide for how to think, feel, act, and react to all real and perceived conflict. Truly a wonderful book.I gave only 4 stars because of the length being slightly unnecessary in some of the beginning chapters and the use of "him" instead of the more respectful and clear "Him" when referring to God.

Thank you for such a beautifully written, Biblically inspired book. Learn how to handle conflict by being the light and love of Jesus in all of your relationships!Jesus is the Way!

I know this book has been out for some time and is regarded as a classic in certain circles. So I'm a bit behind in just now getting to it to read it. It lived up to the hype and praise. Ken Sande does a great job of walking through the nature of conflict, what it often truly stems from, and then helping us understand the proper and biblical process of seeking reconciliation. I think every Christian should go through this once in their life -- we live in a fallen world which sadly means we will have conflict in our lives at some point. The lessons learned from this book will prove invaluable to maneuvering through conflict in one's personal life. But also, if you're a minister or elder or someone in church leadership, this book is even more of an essential. It will help you care for the flock all the better and you'll be glad you read it.

I have thousands of books in my library, many of them really good books. But I believe that -- besides the Bible -- if I were to list 5 books I think every Christian ought to have, I would include "The Peacemaker" by Ken Sande. Ephesians is the most systematic and panoramic book of all Paul's letters, and after 3 chapters in which he scans the scope of God's redemptive purpose, and having zeroed in on Christ dying to create one new redeemed humanity (2:15) to the praise of God's glorious grace, Paul urges the recipients of his letter to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which [they] have been called." The very first matter he deals with is being "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (4:3), after which he supports that exhortation with 7 realities that call for the pursuit and maintenance of unity. Paul makes it clear that this is not a call for unity irrespective of truth (4:13-15), nevertheless, it is a strong call for the pursuit of genuine peace. I don't know of any book that does a better job of spelling out what that means and how it may be pursued than Ken Sande's "The Peacemaker." I have been in the ministry for nearly 40 years now, and wish I had begun my ministry with these rich models and tools for pursuing Biblical peacemaking. Paul knew full well that we who are "in Christ" have been created anew for good works (2:10), that we are new creation, but was keenly aware of the remaining sinfulness of believers that makes it necessary to be "EAGER to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

This is the best book on conflict resolution I have ever come across. This is the fourth time I have bought the book. I keep giving them away to people who need the information.

Thrilled! The book is in perfect condition.Can't wait to start reading it. A+

Something I would read more than once.

Great insight & very thought provoking. If more people followed Ken's recommendations, this world would be a much more peaceful place.

The first time I ready this book, I hated what Ken Sande was telling me how I had to treat those who I was in conflict with. But then (after a time where I had God's help in understanding how He needed me to behave) I read it again and it gave huge insight, guidance and peace as to how to engage in the healing of relationships - this process is still ongoing but without this book, I would not have found the peace I now enjoy.How to interact with others we have difficulty with is often a source of some of our greatest challenges in life A common characteristic is that even though whatever was done to hurt us was done in the past, our emotions towards that still cause us huge unhappiness and occupies much of our thoughts. While the "medicine" prescribed in this book is oh so very difficult to take, it works and will set us free - surely a price worth paying hundreds of times over.The book tells us how to act based on instructions from the Bible, mainly from Jesus's teaching. So, if you are Christian, its difficult to see how you should not follow the advice. And if you are not Christian, and you use the techniques and they work, maybe it would be worth investigating what other good advice the Bible has - in my experience it has lots, much of it like this advice, hard to take but effective. I find it amazing that simple advice given out over 2,000 years ago is still so relevant and powerful today.

The Peacemaker should be required reading for every seminarian, every church elder, every church leader and every sincere follower of Christ who wishes to grow personally and be involved in the mission of Christ to love one another. Sande's straight forward and simple delivery of biblical principles and his organization of the material make this book one of my top 10 must reads. By applying each chapter's summary, this book has the potential to be life changing for the reader and the church.