You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

I recently acquired the book "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation," and I must say it's a beautiful addition to my collection. The book arrived perfectly packaged and looked like new. The cover and pages were in excellent condition, making it a visually appealing addition to my bookshelf. As for the content, the exploration of communication dynamics between women and men is insightful and thought-provoking. The author's perspective offers a fresh and engaging take on understanding the nuances of conversation between genders. I appreciate the clarity of the writing style, making complex concepts accessible and compelling. Overall, I love this book. It not only provides valuable insights into communication patterns but also does so in a way that is approachable and enjoyable to read. If you're interested in the dynamics of communication between men and women, this book is a must-have, and getting a copy in such pristine condition only enhances the reading experience.

As a geezer who has spent his life studying "women talk" and proud of my insight---this book knocked me on my butt---and taught me how colossally ignorant I was on the subject. In short, Tanneh demonstrates that men and women essentially speak two different languages, and each poorly understands the other's language, resulting in frequent and inevitable misunderstandings. Almost every paragraph you find yourself (at least figuratively) smacking yourself on the forehead and saying, "Damn, that's true. I never realized that before." I've read the book a half-dozen times and insisted that my wife read it (about 20 years ago). According to my wife (a VP of a Fortune-500 company) the things she has learned from the book help her to cope with her male colleagues. My wife and I have even developed private phrases to avoid many of the common male/female linguistic misunderstandings. I believe that our very good married life has substantially improved as a result of reading this book. Even so, even understanding "women-speak", I still find it largely illogical---which only reinforces Tannen's thesis that men's and women's are simply wired differently---most easily observed in differences in the use of the allegedly common language. I consider this to be among the top three books which "altered my life for the better". This is a book to buy in hardcover, and re-read frequently. It is impossible to absorb everything in a single reading---or even three readings. I give a copy to each of my nieces when they reach roughly 17. My nephews need the information more, but unfortunately, guys are less likely to read such a book. Note that this was the first of Tannen's books on the subject, but at lest of the first several, in my opinion, "You Just Don't Understand" remains the best. > Click on “Stoney” just below the product title to see my other reviews, or leave a comment to ask a question.

The examples of dialog seem embellished. For example, when the author recounts an interaction with a waitress, the reply of the waitress seems...I don't know, theatrical? I believe the author has some great insights important for people to know. But all you really need to know about the interactions between men and women is that men assess and react to all interactions by gauging the level of threat to themselves, their families, or livelihoods. This is, by far, the most interesting insight. Whereas women see, "How are you doing today?" as sincere request for information, men see it as a need to defend their position and a potential reminder for their shortcomings, whatever that may be...in work, love, home, etc. But it depends on the person asking. It all comes down to one-upmanship. Men see other men as either one up or one down. I think women do this too, but not as dramatically. So when you ask your husband if he took out the trash, he sees this as a need to defend himself. Either he did it, proving he's a man of his word, or he didn't and he must now defend himself against being seen as failure. It all makes sense now, but I got that from the first chapter. I also sense that this book, written by a woman, takes an unconscious bias towards women and rather than a neutral and scholarly approach, this attempts to defend the discourse style of women. It reads more like a self-help book for women. Which is fine, but it's not neutral if that's what you're looking for.

Amazing Psycology book! Well Done!

Science-based rational examination of the different ways people communicate. Delineates many distinct "styles," some of which we may have sensed but not fully appreciated. While the book speaks in general of "men versus women," of course it's more nuanced than that. My first reading was years ago, but it warrants a periodic reread. Very helpful in appreciating subtext, as most people really don't say exactly what they mean. More than perhaps ever before, we need to be more precise in our communication--and Dr. Tannen's work is an excellent place to start.

I enjoyed reading it and found it informative about language and communication. But generalizations about men and women gets annoying after a while. I have known many men, who mostly use rapport talk, and many women who, mostly use report talk. I know women, who gets combative when offered help and men who doesn't mind asking for help. I think all of us use all the communicative methods presented here in our lives at different occasions. How much we rely on one or the other depends on the individual and not gender determined. I can say the same thing for every single communication dichotomy presented in the book. So, it is good for understanding and learning to identify the differences in verbal communication as long as you can disregard the gender stereotypes .

I give this to all young people who will take it. Do you know any heterosexuals? This is for them. The sooner the better. If you’ve ever heard a man or male teen say that you can’t understand women - this proves that, yeah, you can if you try.

I've had my significant other read this to become more aware of gender-related communication differences that do exist, but I would also like to mention that after I had read this book, I became so much more conscientious of how I spoke to others and made it a point to explain myself more thoroughly and no longer "expected" my significant other to "read my mind" like a majority of women are likely to do! This book has really opened my eyes to the ways men communicate with each other. Now, when I speak to men other than my significant other, I always keep in mind the words of Deborah Tannen, and do not take anything so personally any more. UNDERSTANDING is the key to getting along and putting this into practice in the real world will only continue to prove this statement true! A great book for everyone who has ever felt misunderstood by the opposite sex. This book will also help to improve many of your relationships! You will be surprised at how much you will be able to relate to "You Just Don't Understand".

I have found the insight on communication Deborah Tannen reveals in this book valuable in work and personal relationships. She makes the important point that if two people communicate in different ways, continuing with the same approach - only trying even harder - won't solve problems when they are at cross purposes. Tannen has the foundations of research, but uses an easy anecdotal style, which is the book's strength and eventually also its weakness. For me, at least, the bits sized bits do grate eventually and the themes become repetitious, but it's easy enough to stop reading at that point!

I had struggled to understand my mother for years I would constantly think why would she say that why would she tell them that. I understand my mother and women in general much better I would suggest people to read it especially if you are about to get married.

This is quite famous book describing communication gaps between gender. I read this book when I was a student. Lots of authers refers to this book. Beat practice for understand the way of thinking in different gender. You can improve your conversation.

Libro in ottime condizioni come da descrizione. La copertina è differente da quella nella foto perché è un'altra edizione, ma sinceramente non ha importanza per me.

ce livre est en bon état