What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger (What-to-Do Guides for Kids Series)

This book is amazing! I am admittedly dubious of self help books in general but bought this when other methods of improving the anger response of two my children continued to fail. We have been using this book as a family with all of our children because let's be honest, we all can use improvement in how we cope with our anger. The language of this book is humorous and easy to understand. We are using it with children that range in age from 6-11 and all are enjoying it. I love that the book helps children to not feel bad for feeling angry, there is no shaming. Instead it focuses on how we manage and respond to our anger rather than teaching that we should not feel anger. The explanations of anger that begin the book lay an excellent foundation for kids to be able to identify their emotion in preparation to begin implementing the specific strategies discussed later in the book. The strategies are easy for kids to use and effective! I would recommend working through the strategies slowly. After reading a chapter we focus on implementing the tool for several days or even a week or two until my kids have really gotten the hang of it and can use it on their own without prompting. Then we move on and learn and use another tool. This book has helped my entire family and our home life is much more peaceful. Not only are my children managing their anger better but their self confidence and pride has soared as they see that they can manage their emotions well.

I purchased this for my son nearly 9 months ago. He is now 8, and for about 2 years, he has struggled with anger, rooted most often in feeling bullied or teased, or somehow otherwise wronged. His anger has resulted in terrible heartache for him, and frustration and concern for us, his older brother and younger sister, and for friends and teachers. He and I started to work through the concepts in this book when we first got it, but it didn't resonate for him at that time. I think that perhaps he just wasn't ready then, and was still seeing it as others causing his problem rather than him looking at a way to take control of it for himself. Over the Christmas break, after more hurt feelings and outbursts, he was ready to sit down with me again. We reviewed what we covered before, and are now taking the chapters step by step, and he's figuring out how to incorporate the coping mechanisms in his life. In the last 6 weeks, I believe he's had fewer than 5 meltdowns, and he used to have that many in a single day. Additionally, he's able to control the intensity of these moments by using the skills we learned in the book. I'm so grateful for the change in him, and I don't think I could have done it without this guide. The terminology and approach was spot-on for my 8 year old. The examples, illustrations and worksheets were also very helpful and engaging for him. I highly recommend this!

I've never bothered to write a book review before, but this book promises to be a life changer. I hope others will find it as useful as my daughter and I already have. Dawn Huebner and Bonnie Matthews are spot-on with their examples and illustrations depicting our personal situation. It's almost as if they've been peeking through our windows. Like some of the other reviewers, my daughter pitched the book across the room as soon as I showed it to her, but when I called her bluff and made a move to trash it, she quickly back-pedaled and assured me that she wanted to get better. Once we started working through it, she would take a mocking tone and say something to imply that the author didn't know HER and the very next sentence would speak to her grumble. Dawn nailed it every time and the illustrations were strikingly familiar as well. The book's credibility has risen to a surprising level, though she will never acknowledge it. The workbook style with humor sprinkled throughout has made the book much more fun for both of us. She likes writing in the book since that is usually considered "bad" behavior. I have two favorite parts. The first is a list in Ch. 3 of "why bothers" that include such gems as "Has anyone ever said, 'I want to be your friend because you are so good at losing your temper'" and "Have you ever fallen asleep with a smile on your face, thinking about all the times you got mad that day?". The second is a caution to parents not to provide the "cool thoughts" for the child as that will only infuriate her more. I've experienced that response many times in the past and now know that it is typical and not unexpected. I do suggest following the method outlined by the author for best results. My daughter and I are simultaneously working on the Dreading Your Bed book to undo 5 months of problems after she saw part of zombie movie at a neighbor's house. It has been equally good, but different enough to keep it fun. We will start the Grumbling book next. If you have a child with a short fuse, get this book - you won't regret it.

I really liked how this book addressed the problem of anger in a unique way. The children I work with really like the analogies that are used that help them think about anger in a different way. However, I like to use this in a group and think this would be a great resource if broken down in lesson format. Also, I would have found it more useful if the activities presented were in more of a workbook format. Otherwise, I think the author had an interesting and new way to approach anger. I would recommend this resource as an innovative way to address anger management in children!

This is a fantastic resource for parents! I have a bright, amazing, caring 6 year old with an explosive temper. As any parent raising a child with intense emotions knows, it's extraordinarily difficult attempting to help your child contain their huge, oftentimes destructive feelings. What I love about this book is it does a fantastic job of not just offering coping skills, but clarifying that anger is a choice and it is a choice that has consequences. Using techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it empowers kids to take accountability for their responses to situations. There are tons of books out there offering coping skills, mindfulness techniques, etc, but this is the first I've found that focuses on thoughts and behaviors in a simple, comprehensible way. Training my kiddo in calming techniques, like taking ten deep breaths hasn't helped that much, but she seems to respond well to the idea that she is in control of her responses. Perhaps it has something to do with the element of control...anger is often a bid to feel powerful in a difficult situation. The element of choice -- "how will I respond to this difficulty?" -- is one way to apprise control, though in a positive way. Anyway. Last thing: the price is awesome. Such a great deal for such a great tool. I'm so grateful for it.

As a parent, this book has given me some concrete tools to work through frustration points with my kids. Around our house, now we talk about what our "hot thoughts" are and what we can say instead as our "cool thoughts." It has totally influenced how we respond to situations. Please forgive me if this sounds a bit cheesy, but the techniques work. Not just for kids but adults, too. The author explains things in a simple, yet honest way and it makes sense. Somehow, this book worked for us and I believe you will find something useful from it. My daughter (age 7, 1st grade) really wanted to read this book in one setting. And, she is a great kid by all reports from her teachers (and us). :-) It's just that this book helps all kids, with any coping ability. On a scale with 1 being no coping skills, to a 10 being perfect, this book will move any kid up by at least one point... if not several points. If your kid is already at a 10... maybe you just need the book on anxiety. ha, ha just kidding This is a great book and I recommend getting it. [...]. Thank you

My child's teacher has a class library that grows every year. Kids have instant access to plethora of books that is much better then the school's library. It is an awesome idea and all parents try to contribute as much as possible. I gave this book among others that were on the suggested list. I know that this book happened to be massively popular among the kids as per report of my child. I browsed it before donating it and I found it being very well written, great illustration and overall seemed like great book.

My 7 year old has a very explosive temper, and she is very reluctant to talk about it or use any strategies that we've suggested to her. She flat-out refused to look at the book with me when it arrived, so I waited a few weeks and brought it out tonight, without showing her what it was. At storytime, I gave my kids markers and paper, and told them we were going to do some activities. The book starts out by making a comparison between driving a car and managing emotions, and presents drawing activities, such as "draw a picture of yourself driving your dream car," and "draw a picture of your favorite "fuel" (my daughter drew a glass of orange juice). The activities are interspersed between paragraphs of text. Those activities really engaged my kids and made them willing to sit and listen to what the book had to say. I was amazed to see how my older daughter actually participated and even opened up a little, truly expressing herself for the first time with regards to her very difficult-to-handle emotions. We took things a step further and did some whole-body movement activities, such as "driving" around the room as I shouted out "obstacles" --"Whoops, you hit a pothole!" "Watch out for that cat!" "Oh, no, a traffic jam!" We had some good laughs as the kids internalized the basic premise of the book--that we can't always help what happens to us, but we are responsible for how we handle our emotions and our actions. I will update my star rating once we get a bit further along in the book, but for now, it's been a great success.