No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending

Since I heard about "No More Faking Fine ... " being released January 2017, I wanted to have it and review it. I came across Esther Fleece, through another author, book and checked out her website. I instantly knew that this book on 'lamenting' was meant for me so I signed up to get the guide from Esther Fleece before I even had a copy of her book. After reading some of the top positive reviews and a couple of the low ones, the sample copy, and this lament guide, I was convinced that this was the book God would use to bring healing in my life in 2017. Esther Fleece does not disappoint with "No More Faking Fine..." - I found that this deep book is one of my 2017 favorites and still working through the many ways that God is using this to walk me through healing in my life, although I have not shared experience as severe as Esther Fleece's childhood and her life journey of getting "gut-level honest with God through the life-giving language of lament" ... I have been processing through this book since I received it months ago and delayed in writing my review until I truly had a sense of this book, like no other, from beginning to end - it shatters, inspires, encourages, guides and leads the reader on a pathway to true intimacy with God, giving us permission and "voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment' that maybe you, like I, have "kept inside and silenced far too long." I could have put together a review of high praise when I first began this long journey of healing through this book as I shared here and there that "No More Faking Fine ..." is a MUST READ. When I read the title, "No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending", my reaction was not like other reviewers that chose the book because the title captured their interest, I was sure that I certainly do not 'fake fine', in fact, I was convinced I am the complete opposite, that I tell it like it is: good, bad and ugly. However, within the last year, I noticed that perhaps I was stuffing and have not been sharing much with anyone, except God, so I wasn't "faking fine", I wasn't fine and I recalled going through periods in my life where I had done this. I found that Scripture reveals a God, as I have seen in my life, who has met me right where I am time and time again and as Esther states "not where we pretend to be". Esther Fleece walks us through her life experiences, her life story with a "suck it up" mentality, where she stuffed and stuffed her emotions. I'm quite the opposite. Esther writes with such openness and vulnerability, most of us can easily relate, even without having the same experiences, most of us have had to deal with other people when facing difficulties, hurt, grief and struggles. Esther helps us learn how to lament and biblically shows us how it's OK to express ourselves honestly when it hurts. There are 3 parts to Esther's book: "Faking Fine", "A New Way to Pray" and "To Sing Again" with 11 chapters. Each chapter begins with a Scripture, is filled with scriptures, and ends with a wonderful prayer!{you know how much I love prayers in books} This is a much needed book, as Esther exposes her personal pain in a powerful way to enlighten us in the need and manner to LAMENT, to walk through our own story of difficulties honestly, authentically and just as courageously as she has and learned to do so that we may heal. I know I need this book and will continue to go through it. I highly recommend "No More Faking: Ending the Pretending" with 224 pages of truth and redemption for you and others you know that need a friend like Esther, the real deal, who understands and seemingly links arms with you as the reader through a journey of healing and lament. Disclosure: I received this book free from BookLook Bloggers in return for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTCommission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Before I ever read the first page, I loved this book because the title captured my attention. After reading it, this is the book we all need to read, possibly more than once. This is the book that give you permission to admit life is difficult. Esther calls this lamenting – it’s honestly owning the hurt and the emotions that arise as a consequence of that hurt. She shares her own story about growing up with the “Suck it up” mentality and learning to stuff her emotions. Despite fantastic professional success, she was living with deep hurt and had somewhere along the way begun to believe that Christians are supposed to take the hard stuff to God, believe that He makes it better, so get over it, and move on. But the problem with that mentality is that sometimes, we’re just faking it. We’re faking fine, pretending to be ok – because the Bible says we will be, right? – but we’re not okay, and by not admitting it to ourselves or to others, we’ve missed the boat. We don’t feel the healing that God promises us because we haven’t honestly lamented our hurts and allowed for the healing. Esther offers readers an authentic glimpse at a life of faith. By sharing her own story and journey, she gives readers a language for the raw emotions that we might otherwise try to bury. She honestly and candidly reveals her own discovery of how lament not only renews and restores our OWN faith, but empowers us to help others find restoration as well. If you’ve spent any time stuffing your emotions or just trying to move forward and get past a hurt of any kind, Esther dedicates an entire section of her book to learning to lament honestly. It’s permission to own your pain, not to wallow in it, but to own it and talk to God about it. Take the time to care for yourself by learning to lament honestly so that you can heal, and you can move on. “Lamenting is actually a testimony of God’s great love for us. It demonstrates that we have a God who listens to us, a God who hears us, and a God who concerns Himself with every area of our lives, both big and small.” — Esther Fleece, No More Faking Fine

Wow! This book was insightful, eye opening, and a breath of fresh air. The author brought up so many excellent points about giving ourselves permission to feel whatever we are feeling. To not rush into "getting over" or forgetting about offenses or trauma. The author was SPOT ON! No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get real with God and to pour out your authentic emotions to Him. Oftentimes, in the Christian community, were told to "stop being so sensitive" or to "forgive and forget fast." Yet, if we skip the early stage of lamenting, we miss the amazing transformation that God has intended for us. Spiritual growth is a big part of this transformation. If you've endured a troubled childhood, abuse, sexual assaults, or trauma, this book can help shed the light on the importance of being honest with yourself and with Christ. First, take time to process your pain, acknowledge what happened to you, and allow yourself to cry, yell, be angry, and express your emotions. Understand that when we grieve our losses or traumatic experiences, anger is a normal stage of grief. Do not suppress your anger because there's scientific evidence that it can later manifest itself as chronic pain and illness. Check out the body-mind connection. Take time to feel it (your emotions) so you can eventually heal it. I recommend this book to anyone going through dark seasons, losses, grief, or trauma. It has helped me in countless ways to explore lamenting and to cry out to Jesus in my despair. No More Faking Fine has been an amazing breakthrough in my healing journey.

Loved this book! only wish I could have finished it before it was stolen on vacation. Thanks, Esther, for your pure, transparent self-less writing. Your heart is a beautiful testimony of God's real grace for real brokenness. Thanks for not faking fine anymore! I'll get another copy soon.

In this book Ester Fleece tells her story and and shows how she learned to lament to God. Very encouraging!

Esther pours her heart into this book. I am dxtremely upset at God for creating me, and reading the book helped me to cope with my existence. I am not completely healed from being alive but the book provides ways to communicate with God in such circumstances.

This is a great timely book.I have always tended to push down my emotions/ feel scared of them.wanting to be good, and not a grumbling Israeli, I failed to recognise that I wasn't being honest and was letting shed loads of pain build up in me.This book has helped me see that lamenting is a gift and that it brings freedom.

Great book. It felt like an autobiography that was used to inspire rather than just show and tell.

Here is a refreshingly honest look at something so many of us do - fake fine. It highlights an overlooked discipline of lamenting and helps the reader see the necessity to cry out our pain to God.