Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development Paperback – May 5, 2009

Although every book can be given a benevolent list of areas it can be improved on, I must say, none of my minor criticisms could have prevent me from giving it a well deserved 5 star review. If I was given just one sentence to praise this book, i would choose to say "the truth has never before been so available to the general public".For just over 14 years I have researched the topic areas covered in this book and have formed my own opinions, after much deliberation, communication, reading and reflection of personal events. Although there are some sections in the book i have difficulty relating too, i can agree that they describe a very real phenomena.What I found most satisfying when reading this book, was that I could agree on almost everything written there, and my criticisms are so minor that I am forced to review my own personal convictions.The most important message I have distilled from the book's pages, is that homosexual people are given more reasons, and greater justification, for adversity to sustained and fulfilling relationships with partners and people in society. Society lacks support for the proper emotional development of the homosexual from a substantially young age and this could be corrected if society learnt to surender compulsory notions of heterosexuality. Most importantly, the problem begins when I small male child, who adopts more effeminate behaviors, is subsequently distanced from his father, which creates a sense of guilt at experiencing emotions associated with the desire for affection with another male. Later in life the boy will experience mixed emotions associated with forming a union with other males and this leads to lost and lonely homosexuals in society. It leads to a domination of lustful relationships that are not emotionally fulfilling and additionally, an unsettling and wrestless maladjustment to a teenager's unwanted and uncontrollable developing homosexuality.The message from this book is that the homosexual minority in society could be substantially more adjusted if there was acceptance from the very start.

This an excellent account, partially autobiographical, of gay identity by one of the most important pioneers in refuting the traditional psychoanalytic view of gay people. Among other virtues, it is a powerful reminder of the truly uninformed and repressive role that psychoanalysts formerly played in the harsh treatment of gay people.

After a twenty-two year marriage, a twelve year divorce and over forty years of hiding my true sexuality I, in October 2013, came out and first told my daughters that I was gay. A few days later I told my entire family. I lived in constant fear of being discovered. My coming out has been a positive experience for me. I have acceptance from all my family members. I am still loved. Although, I am very happy now i have recently become confused and not sure who I am as a gay man. Richard Isay's book Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development has helped me to understand why it was that I was so fearful and shameful all my life. The book has identified many problem areas that I must work on with my psychotherapist so that I can become a healthy gay man.

This text was written by a psychoanalyst, and although I'm not strictly into psychoanalytic theory, I must say I was highly impressed by a number of insights this text provided for me. If you're gay and you're into self-exploration, I would definitely recommend this book. And actually, it would be a good book for one of your straight loved ones, to help them understand more about you. After reading this text, I purchased two more books by the same author. As I said, I was impressed.

As expected.

This is a terrific book for its emphasis on the father/son component to homosexual behavior, longing. etc. This emphasis was never part of the many therapies i went through in my life, so I am really grateful to have read this.

Excellent book, well written from a professional viewpoint. I would recommend this for anyone who wants to understand the processes involved in a gay man's journey to become a whole person.

interesting informative

Isay's short but effective book opens a new horizon about psychodynamics of homosexuality. As a clinical psychologist I can say that his wise observations supported by scientific data effected my work with LGBT people. In psychoanalytic thought the conservative ideas about homosexuality was formed by conservative heterosexual specialists, experts and academicians and by its nature the theories about this subject were extremely biased and methods were on changing a person's nature which leads to a deep guilt feelings and rage against person's self if not a more serious psychiatric situation like paranoias or disturbing obsessional disorders. We very well know the male dominance in the area of psychoanalysis which causes a conservative, patriartial attitude and this dominance was/is strong despite the contributions of Anna Freud, Klein, Horney, Jacobson, Mahler etc.. Isay might be considered as the Juliet Mitchell of LGBT psychoanalists. Juliet Mitchell who re-write the psychology of women as a woman in psychoanalytic terms based on the revolutionary contributions of Lacan. Before the feminist school the psychoanalysis of women was told by men and it is not fair that straight men tells about men, women and LGBT people. Isay's deep contribution is based on his well trained psychoanalytic background, experience with patients in many years and the insight which is gained by his gay identity. The last one is the crucial one. I strongly recomend clinical psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health specialists who study psychoanalysis and work with LGBT people to read Isay's not only books but also articles. Great book, great observations and insight..

Well researched and written. The several examples from the doctor's personal practice are cherries on the top, as they enhance one's understanding, awareness and empathy towards the community.