The Joys of Motherhood: A Novel

EXTREME WARNING: Unless your computer has updated Norton Anti-virus protection or comparable protection against covert & malicious software (which infects your computer & then downloads all your files at night by spies) DO NOT ACCESS ANY OF MY REVIEWS!!! [This is no hype or joke.] When a society values Motherhood, but not the women themselves: it is warped, hypocritical, and sexist wherever it is in the world, (Africa, Europe, Asia, or the Americas)...and this is so whatever the culture or its religion (Indigenous, Muslim, Christian, or otherwise). This is the essence of Buchi Emecheta's outstanding African novel, THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD. Although it is set in colonial Nigeria (pre and post World War II) the struggles of its female protagonist, Nnu Ego, are really the struggles of all women---which are: to find meaningful self-fullfilling roles in their societies...a struggle that continues to this day. Patriarchal and sexist societies rarely view women as having any role greater than that of baby-makers. And even worse, almost all of them are culturally biased to value male infants more than females. They hypocritically proclaim to value motherhood, but devalue women, and even the mothers themselves. They proclaim a great love for infants, then reject adequate societal care for the children (this is particularly true in the U.S.). We might think that only primitive and indigenous societies are guilty of such blatantly sexist practices, but (as a by-product of male patriarchy) it remains standard practice around the world---for all religious fundamentalists, all pro-life fanatics, and for all arranged marriages. The women and daughters get no respect...and no say...and no choice. They get cultural B.S. and religious hype---in order for them to accept that being a mother is the greatest honor of a female's life--and that without being a mother (mostly of sons), they will remain unfullfilled. But, given adequate alternatives, most women would probably see right through this (along with the practice of their men having multiple wives) as being exactly what it is...self-justifying, male, sexual con. And yet, most of them would also acknowledge a part of this con as being absolutely necessary for Life itself to continue. I believe there CAN BE joy and a dignity in being a mother (if that's what a woman chooses for herself), and IF she has love, money, help from her partner, and adequate care-giving skills. Similarly, I believe there will also be despair and family dysfunction when ANY of these things are missing. The current rise in social pathologies in the U.S. mirrors the concurrent rise in single-parent, female-headed, households. Too much of our thinking and social lives have become singular in emphasis, individually selfish, as well as socially and sexually disjointed, and out of balance. Women themselves must be seen as (and also become) more than JUST mothers, and men themselves must be seen as (and certainly become) MUCH MUCH more than just sperm-donors. Our current social reality shows that it will take all of this. [And love, respect, and more money wouldn't hurt a thing either.] Otherwise, simply as products of a sexist culture, we are ALL just liars and hypocrites, at best; and destroyers of hope and a better future, at worst. I just recently discovered the novels of Buchi Emecheta--sharing her stories and her perspective on the world (along with other excellent, Black, female, writers.) I keep reading, and I keep learning. My journey continues, and I hope yours does as well. Read, learn, and enjoy. I certainly did.

Igbos, Ona and wealthy local Chief Nwokocha Agbadi were in love. However, Ona’s father, ruler at another village, Chief Umunna, forbade Ona to marry. Umunna had not fathered sons; therefore, Ona would someday occupy his seat. Agbadi suffered serious injuries during a hunting trip. Ona tended him during convalescence and, during that time; the two mated and produced a child. Ona could not disobey her father’s wishes and marry Agbadi. Instead, she promised Agbadi if she had a son, she would present him to her father. If she delivered a daughter, she would give her to Agbadi. Ona died during childbirth delivering a daughter. Agbadi named his daughter Nnu Ego, which means a priceless jewel. Nnu Ego typified the conventional role of young women at that time, in the late 1930s and early 1940s, to bear and raise children. Her first marriage ended in disaster because she could not bear children. Motherhood is the most important aspect for women and having sons pre-eminent in Nigeria. She relocated to Lagos, Nigeria, for her second marriage to Nnaife Owulum, with whom she conceived. Nnaife had no sense of direction. He was unconventional concerning Nigerian men’s work ethic. Known as a “washerman,” much to Nnu Ego’s chagrin and annoyance, he cared for the clothing, underwear, and bed linens of his English employers, the Meers. Nnaife appeared selfish and indolent. His only contribution was to give Nnu Ego children and look forward to their sons taking care of him in old age and the ‘bride price’ he would amass from his four daughters. Eventually, Nnaife, took on his deceased brother’s wives the elder Adankwo and young Adaku. Adaku, the more astute and enterprising left Nnaife, during his five-year conscription into the British Army. Nnu Ego had to fend for herself and their children. She felt it not fair the way men cleverly used a woman’s sense of responsibility to enslave them. Nnu Ego, proud and conscientious, was self-critical of herself, and often reflected social standards learned from her father. She assumed her husband’s role as breadwinner for their growing family. Before having more children, she too, considered enterprising, sold cigarettes and other sundries, but became defeated after producing so many children. Changes had already taken place in West Africa. Colonial rule coerced Christianity, European beliefs of education, and behavior. This eroded age-old customs and traditions, to such an extent that Oshia, the Owulum’s eldest son no longer believed it obligatory to support the family. With a scholarship, he completed his higher education in America and married a European. His brother, Adim, disappointed at Oshia’s family rank, left home to complete higher learning in Canada. Daughter Kehinde chose a Yoruba for her husband, much to Nnaife’s maddening and sudden violent disposition. The familiar crumbled. All seemed lost when the love, respect, ordinariness and intimacy of family fell apart and its end the terrible pain of aloneness. I enjoyed reading this five-star book.

Buchi Emecheta’s The Joys of Motherhood is a fundamental text in the wider cannon of Nigerian post-colonial literature. The novel centers around half a dozen main characters – mostly women – and follows their trials and tribulations navigating the complex social structures of Igboland. Taking place at the dawn of British colonial rule and into the colonial period through the Second World War, Emecheta is able to capture to essence of a Nigeria in tumult – a period defined by the chaos of colonial rule and the inherent social implications associated with it. I deem that Emecheta is able to successfully transport readers across both time and space, as each chapter is linked to the previous via a complex wed of family ties, overlapping stories, and tactful writing. The style of writing was particularly intriguing, as it was reflective of the “Western-style” novel. Vectoring into debates about how African novels “should be written”, Buchi Emecheta is successfully use Western writing conventions to her advantage – making her work both accessible to a larger audience and distinctly Nigerian/Igbo. Clearing drawing on works like Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Buchi Emecheta is able to give an insightful view into the world of “African motherhood” and transfer relatable narratives/lessons via characters like Ona and Nnu Ego. While Ona was the “foundational” character for the novel, she was perhaps the most enticing. Representing the general freedom and agency African women had prior to colonial rule, Ona stands as testament to long traditions of female power in pre-colonial Nigerian societies. Nnu Ego on the other hand, represents a “new African woman” who grew up in the colonial period, and whose world was fundamentally changed by the invention of tradition (on part of the British colonial administration) and the social changes brought during The Second World War. Moreover, The Joys of Motherhood clearly was the basis for Yaa Gyasi’s novel Homegoing, as each chapter (some characters had two) revolved around a single character – years passed between each and readers are able to follow the lineage of Ona into the post-WWII era. Despite its inherent strengths, I did have a few minor issues with The Joys of Motherhood. The first of these would be the prominence of sexual assault throughout the novel – while this is an extremely important topic that needs to be unpacked, Buchi just seemed to “throw it in” for sake of “drama”. I personally did not like how she passively added it in to the “plot” and did not unpack the implications of sexually related trauma. Secondly, I took issue with the transition to ‘the third generation’ – Ego’s children. While Buchi Emecheta was able to successfully show the passage of time between Ona and Nnu Ego, it was much more confusing at later stages in the novel. While this can be an intentional tactic to show the distant relationship of the family now divided by the Atlantic Ocean, it sometimes made the text confusing at times. Overall, The Joys of Motherhood is an eloquently presented novel that is definitely worth both your time and money. To me, its success is due to the characters – dynamic and relatable – as they highlight the very real struggles of raising children in less-than-ideal circumstances. Secondly, the novel adds to a major gap in African literature – the Interwar period and into The Second World War. Africans and their vital contributions are often forgotten in the “Great War” narratives of the West – Buchi Emecheta uses her text to show the impact on everyday Nigerians. While the novel is not perfect, it is certainly “a must” for anyone interested in an exploration of classic Nigerian works of literature.

This book not only tells you the story of a Nigerian women that want desperately to become a mom, but also brings you so much about Nigerian culture and costumes. I couldn’t stop reading it. Absolutely fell in love with the strength and determination of Nnu Ego.

I read this book cover to cover in just a few days, so gripping was the story. I am not sure if this is a cautionary tale about the dangers of living for anyone, even one's children, a parable intended to encourage parents to invest equally in girls as in boys in order to enable women to achieve true happiness and independence, or nothing more than the fascinating saga of one woman and her family. Perhaps the book is all of these things. It is a worthy read indeed.

Geez this novel surprised me and took me down a completely unexpected journey. The story of Nnu Ego will stay you the reader for a long, long time. Emecheta delves deeply into the complexities of motherhood and marriage, particularly polygamous marriage. Although the story is set in Nigeria there are home truths about motherhood and womanhood that will transcend cultural differences.

I love this book! I read it years ago before I had children and this book helped me to determine what type of mother I would be: balanced. I reordered the book because I let a friend borrow it and never got it back, but I needed it to teach an IB course. My seniors compared this novel to Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart. Paired together these novels both lend themselves to a close look into the lives of two characters--one male; one female--who epitomize the extreme version of the traditional Ibo masculine character, Okonkwo, and the equally extreme version of the traditional Ibo mother, Nnu Ego. Each novel is set during a different time frame during the Colonization of Nigeria and each character refuses to adapt their traditional ways to a changing society. The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta this mother's story is a sadly disappointing ironic tale. Happy upcoming Mother's Day all!

Liked what I learned about Ibo and Yuroba Nigerian cultures. Book was slow and tedious but still a good read.

Uma obra-prima que merece ser lida por todos, até mesmo (ou sobretudo?) por aqueles não se interessam pelo tema da maternidade. Romance sobre a dor universal de adequar seus desejos quiméricos à dura realidade da existência.

So amazing thank you so much. Really appreciate it ❤️🫶🏻

Efficient

A must read for anyone who wants to understand the underlying overtones of subverted motherhood and feminism in the human society...

The Joys of Motherhood explores the responsibility, joys, pain and all that comes with being a mother, the expectation placed on African women from a young age. Set in the 1940s it also explores the story of Nigeria pre and post colonisation. We read about the Ibo culture, we see fathers, husbands and their relationships with their families in the Ibo town called Ibuza. Then there is relocation to Lagos to find jobs and how that changes these men and their relationships. Characters - there are so many great characters in this book, from the great hunter Agbadi and the young and proud Ona that captures his heart to the daughter that becomes the mother, Nnu Ego and even the young characters like Oshia. There are plots within plots in this book. The writing style is very accessible and enjoyable and your brain is sure to be stimulated by the stories within this story. A couple of quotes I liked: “Yet the more I think about it, the more I realise that we women set impossible standards for ourselves. That we make life intolerable for one another. I cannot live up to your standards, senior wife. So I have set my own.” Adaku. “But who made the law that we should not hope in our daughters? We women subscribe to that law more than anyone. Until we change all this, it is still a man’s world, which women will always help to build.”