Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us

The subtitle of the book is, "on Men, Women and the Rest of Us." Bernstein's book is not just about a man becoming a woman, but it puts into doubt the whole sex/gender system. Bernstein does not use the term, "biological sex," but refers to all gender identity as "gender": biology does not have any primacy. She pokes holes in the binary gender system by questioning why one has to be one or the other of these, or even remain stable in one gender. This "fluidity" is different from ambiguity, in which it is not clear at a given moment which gender one is. This book is liberating for those who feel they might not fit in no matter what kind of operation they had. As the New York Times says, instead of being hostile about gender liberation, Bornstein is sweet, sincere, lucid. Her sometimes anthropological point of view is useful in lifting up age-old cultural assumptions about gender and orientations in a section she jocularly calls "The Rulebook." Gender can be assigned, attributed, there can be gender roles or an experienced identity. Bernstein suggests fifteen other models in addition to the usual gay, straight or bi- orientations. The list is fascinating, including: multiple partners models, differently-abled bodies models, reproductive models, models based on sex act preference...leading up to the heading of sex without gender. After setting up the rules, Bornstein enthusiastically dismantles them. Are there solid definitions of male and female? In addition to the usual two sets of chromosomes there are five other sets. If gender equals what hormones you have, you could buy your gender at any pharmacy. In addition, she tells us several times that in some other cultures it is normal for someone born one gender to assume the gender of the other. She mentions more than once that a gender transformation often accompanies the process of becoming a tribal healer or shaman. Bornstein namedrops many people of transgressive gender that you can look up - many of whom have written books. In addition, she provides a fascinating bibliography. Her questions are possibly the most interesting part of the book. "Do you `feel like a man'? Do you `feel like a woman'?" she asks. "What does a man feel like? What does a woman feel like?" There are many other considerations like gender and politics, oppression, etc., but the list is too long for a short review. There is a play included which I did not think was very good although parts were interesting. Nevertheless, I would enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone interested in transgressive gender issues.

I've read many books on feminism and gender, most of the Ms magazine ilk, and all of one mind, spouting the message that William can have a doll, and Sally can be a doctor when she grows up. Mainstream feminism is carrying this message into the 21st century almost unchanged from the late 1960's. This type of book always leaves me feeling a little unsatisfied. Kate Bornstein has written and book that attacks gender roles at the root, and not the flower. She is a male to female transsexual, in that she was identified as a boy at birth, and raised accordingly (there's a picture from her Bar Mitzvah), and was later surgically altered to look like a woman when she stands naked. She has a woman's body, and a female name, and prefers the pronoun "she," but Bornstein does not claim a gender in the way gender exists as a social construct. Few things are as personal as gender, and no one has a right to dictate another person's gender, or even that a person claim a gender. She talks about men, and women, and everyone in between. The "everyone in between," however, are not sexless celibates nursing their melancholia in solitude; they are sexual beings like anyone else. Bornstein, by dispensing with gender, opens up sexual possibilities that were previously unthought of. There's lots of sex in this book. This book is not an apologetic for transsexualisn, or gender dysphoria. If anything, it is in your face regarding not only personal choices, but anyone who would dare to judge someone else's choices. This is not a plea for understanding, as books on transsexualism usually are, not a heart-breaking tale of emotional pain, rejection and confusion. Bornstein tells the truth of her story, and gives you the options of recognizing the truth for what it is, or continue living in a Fool's Paradise. And in captivating narrative voice. Her style reflects her attitude, and you have no trouble hearing her in your head. This, to me, is the mark of a good author.

Kate Bornstein has written a fabulous book about what it means to be differently gendered. Her experience of being male, being female, being something else entirely, has lead her to ask the question "What is gender, anyway?" This book is the beginning of an answer to that question. Boornstein does not pretend to know the answers to the questions she raises. For the most part, the critical act in this book is raising the questions at all. And even when she has worked out an answer for herself, she is extremely clear (with herself and with the reader) that the boundaries of that answer pretty much end where her body ends and the rest of the world begins. Her experience acts as a prism through which she views everything else about the world (about theatre, about "the lesbian community", about straight marriage, about loving, about medicine and therapy). Her sideways view of things that had previously seemed solid to me helped me re-orient my vision of the world as it is, and as it might be. Come to this book with an open mind, and reading it will open your mind even farther. It is absolutely not required that you agree with everything she has to say, that you interpret her observations the way she does, that you experience the world the way she does. Whatever answers you find for yourself, traveling with this author through her world of questions is a ride which should not be missed.

I trained in ballet with a trans woman I’ll refer to as “Ali.” She and I performed together in an amateur ballet performance. Every time I saw Ali approach the studio for our next rehearsal, I experienced a rush of happiness, but I could not fully explain why. Then when I read “Gender Outlaw,” I understood my joyful response to Ali. She had the courage to become who she needed to be. The first edition of Gender Outlaw, by author and performance artist Kate Bornstein, was published in 1994. A later edition of Gender Outlaw (the one I read) was published in 2016. I have no doubt that another edition might one day emerge. Gender Outlaw is a timeless classic that fills a much needed void. Kate Bornstein has said she wrote the book she had once wished someone had written for her. Playful and serious, as well as charming, frank, and sincere, Kate Bornstein shares the stories of brave nonbinary-identified people who have lived their lives hiding within the confines of false gender—“and who after much soul/searching, decided to change their gender, and spent the rest of their days hiding deep within ‘another’ false gender.” Gender Outlaw is interspersed with many anecdotes that will break your heart as well as stories of heroic adventure. During the inevitable process of discovering who one is, there is the abject refusal of categories that are false, limiting, and do not feel right. Gender identity answers the question: who am I? There is a fundamental lesson that must be learned: Any one of us can be imprisoned by our gender. Kate Bornstein’s own story of growing up as a Jewish boy outside of Asbury Park, New Jersey is the starting point in her journey. Her gradual awareness of being a young gay man and coming out to her family is a milestone. But the major transformation comes when she understands that she is more than a gay man. Kate Bornstein radicalizes her identity to be a person who is not straddling gender between a man and a woman. She arrives at a clear, cogent revelation: “gender fluidity recognizes no borders or rules of gender.” The finely honed nuances of gender exist in every person, but we have to be able to see them. While gender, sex and sexuality are an integral reality of being human, it is common to confuse gender, sex and sexuality as one and the same, but they are different. The manner in which you choose to have sex and to whom you are attracted is not necessarily defined by one’s gender. Yet gender and sexuality can be inextricably linked. The relationship between gender, sex and sexuality is not simple and is best defined as paradoxical. Bornstein probes beyond individual personhood to marvel at the connections among many types of communities. “The conflation of sex, sexuality, and gender affects more than individuals and relationships—it contributes to the linking together of the very distinct subcultures of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, leather sexers, sex workers, and trans people.” How do people see one another? Every individual is more than what meets the eye. Gender identity exhibited through apparel can be cobbled together from thrift stores, or comprise elaborate wardrobes, accoutrements, shoes, jewelry, hair, nails & skin, all taken to new heights of glamor and couture fashion. To accessorize is dramatic and the essence of good theater. In Bornstein’s words, “Talk to a few trans people and see how beautifully textured the normally drab concept of gender can become.” Exploring the many facets of gender is not only the domain of trans people. The Mummers Parade is an annual tradition that takes place on New Year’s Day in Philadelphia. Hundreds of working class, family men dress in elaborate costumes and gowns, showered with sequins, feathers, and glitter. Parading from City Hall, and marching south down Broad Street, they get the chance to revel in their inner girl. Good information and, better yet, good thinking pervades Gender Outlaw. Dense with witty anecdotes and provocative queries that are compelling enough to make you think, this book is never trivial and never dull. You’ll learn about things you thought you already knew, e.g., how to differentiate among sex, sexuality and gender. And you will also learn the nitty-gritty details of what happens when one undergoes “the operation.” If your trans journey culminates in a succession of surgical procedures and hormone therapies, then Gender Outlaw is a blue print. Expect a Sea Change, a profound transformation, a complete shift from one gender to another, metamorphosis. But it doesn’t stop there. There is a tremendous self-empowerment in not having to be defined one way or another. Gender blur. Gender blend. Gender fluid. At its core, an evolving gender identity is a practice based on the courage of embracing constant change; it is the Sea Change that is the only constant. Who am I? The journey to discovering who you are is not fixed by society, culture, religion, media, marketing, consumerism, or the doctor who assigned gender at birth. Bornstein notes how “our western culture tends to tends to sacrifice the full range of human experience to the lowest common denominator that’s acceptable to most people…” There are many selves within each person—that’s a primary reason why everyone should read this book. Dictating hardwired categories of man or woman, black or white, either/or is cruel, confining and unrealistic. Gender fluidity can free us and inspire us. Actualizing one’s gender yields an authentic persona and the full expression of what it means to be a human being. It’s why seeing my friend Ali in dance class brought me joy. To me, she represented freedom. As Bornstein said, “Only our bonding will permit a true revolution of sex and gender.” Just a note: I would have given it a five-star rating, but the insertion of a play within the narrative didn't work for me.

With so much about the trans community in entertainment and the news lately (a good thing) you may find yourself with some serious issue fatigue (a bad thing). Kate Bornstein may be the cure for that fatigue. Stop sneering at the cast of 'Pose' when they spout stuff you already thought about a thousand times in interviews and redirect your rolling eyes to the pages of Gender Outlaw. It was written decades ago but still feels fresh. Its style might be off-putting to the unimaginative but it is as unique as the author and quite fitting for the subject matter. Mainstream culture is perhaps finally catching up with Bornstein ('pan' or 'fluid' anyone?) but her idea's about the meaning of gender are still incredibly exciting. You want some thoughts on an issue; go to the original source. A good general rule of thumb.

Even thought originally written almost 30 years ago, the update is very relevant today. I like Kate's sense of humor and that it's very comprehensive and doesn't shy away from anything. Recommended it to a UU minister who also liked the book alot. I serious and fun read. Bought it in all available formats as it is wonderful to be able to read it and also hear it in Kate's voice.

When you don't have to support your claims with verifiable facts, anything is possible. To the extent the author perceives gender to be non-binary and gender fluidity to be real, these things are true... for the author. If I perceive gender to be binary and gender fluidity impossible, that is my truth. The author, unfortunately, feels those views apply to all. The problem I have with this book is that the author implies that the concept of gender being binary, is wrong...for everyone. If one assumes that gender is a construct, then that construct varies from one mind to the other and that means we all perceive gender in subtly different ways. Making the views of the author, a cause célèbre and implying that they apply to everyone, is simply adding another area of conflict, which benefits no one. Just as straight people cannot know what it feels like to be gay, or cisgender people cannot know what if feels like to be transgender, binary people cannot know what it feels like to be non-binary. Note that I said, "feels." On a cognitive level we can understand each other but on a more visceral and emotional level, it is not possible. It is simply outside the boundaries of anything we have felt. The reason I read this book was to research the evolution in thinking within the transgender community. In this, the book provided valuable information. Not only did it provide clues as to when such changes occurred, but it provided insight into the changes in the use of terminology and definitions of words, which I was particularly interested in. It also provided clues as to the time frame where people began to abandon the idea of blending in and not revealing they were transgender, that had been preferred before. Last, but not least, the book is written in a very down to earth way and is quite readable.

I lover this author for her wisdom and life shared, observences and thoughfulness about multiple perspectives. Hers spans time. I am greatful for her " freindship" because sometimes reading a book feels like making a friend

A good read!

She has a different way of looking at thing and i think that's nice i do like hearing the stories of older trans people overall definitely recommend

性別適合手術を受けたトランスセクシュアルでありながら、自ら男でも女でもない第三ジェンダーに属しているという著者は、既存の性別概念にあてはまらないジェンダー・アウトローたちの、一人一人の生き方が、性別の二元制を崩していく、という。ジェンダーについて、GID医療についての斬新で新たな展望に満ちたトランスジェンダー論。 英語は中級程度。Q&Aやインタビューを交えており、理論書という感じでなく、読みやすい。

Amazing read and presentation. A must for those studying gender or in search of an interesting story.

Well worth reading, regardless of who you are and what angle you're coming from. It is obviously not representative of everyone or even anyone other than the author, though is definitely one of the best books on the subject I've read so far, and has a lot of value, with a lot of ideas and interesting ways of seeing things - great to read as a trans person, and I suspect this could really help some cis people understand certain aspects of what it is to be trans, and think about it in a different way.