We were gonna have a baby, but we had an angel instead.

I bought this book for my 2 living children after my daughter was stillborn at 36 weeks. I think that this book was great for our specific situation. My oldest, 4, was very excited about a new baby and was following my pregnancy closely. I have been reading all of these reviews about how morbid and harsh the story is. I have to disagree. I think the ending of the story is very real and depicts exactly how a kid would feel in this situation. The last page says “I wish we had a baby instead”. Kids have very big emotions and trying to wrap up a stillbirth with some peppy, positive, upbeat ending wouldn’t be right. Having this book as a tool to help explain what happened to our kids was helpful. It helped us word our conversation in a way that was age appropriate, without forcing feelings on them or not allowing them to feel the sadness of what happened. Absolutely would recommend.

My son recently passed and I have a 5 year old daughter. Its a once sentence per page book. So it's easy and to the point. Book talks about everything the little boy wanted to do with the new baby, and talks about how he misses the baby now that the baby is gone. Shows his mom and dad crying. I really don't agree that this book has a bad ending. The little boy says " I think having a baby would have been more fun" Because he sees everyone sad and he is sad as well. Even though it's obvious to the adult, with kids you need to be more specific and they need to know why everyone is sad, and that its okay to be sad. Overall, I am glad I bought this book. I will read it to my daughter everytime she asks about her little brother.

I purchased this book for my sister who lost her daughter and has another daughter that is 4. I too have lost a child but didnt have any living kids and heard in my loss community that this was great for kids especially younger ones who dont understand what death is quite yet. I've seen a few low reviews and I wanted to say something. For kids who are young example 4 ,they take things literally. If you were to say your baby was sleeping that passed away to your little child they will think they will just wake up one day and come home. They might even develope sleep issues. Death is unfortunately a part of life and babies do unfortunately die. All though that is so so heartbreaking and sad we have to let them know it's okay to be sad but thay the baby did die.

After our miscarriage at 22 weeks my daughter was struggling to understand why we weren't talking about babies anymore. Why we weren't doing ultrasounds or buying baby things, it was really hard, and I just didn't know how to explain it so that she could understand. A friend of mine recommended this book, and it has to be the most morbid purchase I have ever made, but I am glad I did. It's taken me a long time to write a review on this product, but I wanted to come back and say how much this really did help to tell my daughter what happened, the art work alone was enough to get the message across - She stopped asking where the baby was in my tummy, she stopped telling people we were having a baby. I keep this story in my closet, and I hope I never have to read it again, but it really helps find the words you can't quite find when explaining to your child about loss

A friend of mine just lost her son to a stillbirth. I suffered the same fate two and a half years ago. I didn't buy the book for myself then, but due to the glowing reviews I purchased it for my friend. The book starts out wonderful. A little boy(which I guess could pass for a girl) talks about how they were going to have a baby. He talks about his mommas tummy and how he and his parents had talked about all the fun they were going to have with the new baby. The middle part is good too. It shows the parents being sad. The mom looking at baby stuff and the dad out in the garage working on a memory box. They show them crying. The little boy talks about how sad it is and how he thinks his parents are sadder than he is. At one point the boys says that his grandmother told him that although the baby is not with us physically, the baby will always be in our heart. To me this is where the book should end. It shows the baby as an angel looking down on the family. It is a nice, logical place to end. BUT - there are a few more pictures of everyone crying, and more talk about how horrible the whole thing is ( which it IS... but this is a book for preschoolers... we don't want them to be frightened). The last page of the book has a picture of the parents walking slumped over with their heads down in grief, crying pulling a cart (where I am assuming the baby was supposed to be)the little boy walks next to them and the final line states "it would have been much more fun to have a baby". To me (although this statement is true) is not a good way to end a book that is to be read over and over again, during different stages of grief. At first this tone might sit well with the immediate greif and helplessness feeling... but over time it may bring the reader down, instead of teaching the child/reader that there is hope in the long run.

I'm not much for angels and have taken very little solace in the "your baby is an angel now" way of thinking since I just don't believe that's what happens. However, I do believe that my baby is with Jesus. I was unsure of this book because of the title, but it turned out to be the perfect little picture book for us. The baby is pictured with wings and called an angel, but my kids took it to mean that our baby, Hazel, is in heaven with Jesus. This book is short, probably best for young (2-6) children. Another reviewer mentioned she didn't like the book because it ended on a sad note "I think a baby would have been more fun" with sad faces all around. But you know what? Having a child born still is sad all around. I'm sad, my husband's sad, my other children are sad. If the book had ended on a "happily ever after" note, I would have disregarded it. My children are sad. They relate to this little boy, who still has fun playing with his toys and going for walks, but also is also sad, sad, sad.

We got this book because we lost a baby. A special way to share with our kids what happened in a way that will help make sense to them. I’m sorry if you have to buy this book bc it means you or someone you know went through this.

I am grateful this book was written. It is helping my 5 year old son through his grief over loosing his brother. When we told him my own heart broke all over again to see him in so much pain. Just like in the book my son would talk to his baby brother. He would even hug my tummy and tell him he love him. There are so little resources for children in dealing with infant loss. I am glad this book exists to help my son during this time in our lives.

An excellent book to explain to little ones about the loss of a sibling at or before birth. Bought one for myself which I later gave to a friend when our nurse gave us one as a gift after the death of our daughter at 38w gestation. The wording is straight forward for little ones. It may seem a bit harsh when it says "the baby died" but that is the truth and I simply say , "the baby couldn't stay" or something along those lines when it comes to that page. The book isn't religious , but the baby is depicted as an angel. This is how we explain to our son why other people have their babies and we do not. "We had an angel instead." I think it is such a great book to have for those little inquiring minds and parents alike to help make sense of a senseless, raw and devastating situation.

Such a beautifully written book, my niece was born sleeping at 36wks+ and my sister wanted to get something for her 5yr old daughter to read and understand and this book is lovely for them to sit down and read together. As an adult I cried myself when reading this.

Good book

This is a book you wish you didn’t need. That being said, it is helpful for helping kids deal with grief in the loss of a sibling baby. There is a page at the ends with tips for parents in helping their kids as well. We had this for my 4 year old and she still likes to look at it 3 years later. I bought for a gift of someone going through the same thing. 💜

Our son and girlfriend had a stillborn and this book explained it beautifully to the four year old sibling. He likes it being read often and has helped them talk about their little girl as a family, with no awkwardness.