Quilted Northern Ultra Plush Toilet Paper, 18 Mega Rolls = 72 Regular Rolls

Well…. I am beyond picky with toilet paper and I used this kind at my cousins house and immediately began buying it and haven’t stopped! This is everything you’d want in toilet paper. I have it in subscription now. It’s PLUSH, soft and you will never feel like you wiped with sandpaper again. In fact it’s like wiping with a literal cloud! Try it and you will feel the same way! Good stuff!!

I shouldn't have made this purchase. It's not that the material is bad or that the price point was too much. I shouldn't have because now, thanks to this 3 ply TP I feel somewhat elevated from the common man. Sounds funny, I know, but hear me out It was on sale, I had a credit on a card. Yada yada, I sprung for it and paid the 1.25 difference. But I knew, absolutely knew, I had done the wrong thing. See, it all comes down to ply. 1 ply is evil, you end up paranoid with 1 ply, especially if you have serious stomach distress. 1 ply always feels like it's running out. You hunch over, sweat, freak out with 1 ply. 2 ply, however is the way to go. It's stronger than 1 but not as high and mighty as 3. It's nowhere near 4 ply (4 ply is reserved for Sultans, Sheik's and Jeff Bezos, just not in that order). And 2 ply is all one really needs. But I got the 3 ply and now, I feel very strong. Like I'm better than other people. I mean I started looking at my neighbors sideways. Treating friends poorly. I'm like a man with delusions of grandeur all because I got ahold of some 3 ply paper on sale. This isn't right. Anyway, the quality is excellent and the roll is big enough to fit the holder. It looks good, doesn't flake apart like cheaper brands and does the job. But it can also lead to acting conceited, egotistical and downright rude. I mean, this could corrupt the soul! Anyway, look, I always keep a few dozen rolls around. Because I'm neurotic like that. I've run out before and during the pandemic, toilet paper hoarders almost gave me mental trauma. Buy the 2 ply or get this superior 3 ply, especially if you can get it on sale or with points or both, like I did. But for Pete's sake, don't let this TP go to your head. Keep it where it belongs, on your rear end. Update: being curious, I looked up 5 ply toilet papers, and yes folks it exists. Not only does it exist but it looks like it belongs in some ultra chic bathroom in say, a club you and I won't ever get into, or one of those mansions that look great on the outside but are gaudy and tacky on the inside like that movie Kubrick did before he went into the great beyond. 5 ply paper comes in midnight black with red trim. Okay?! Like made for a vampire crew. Why not flamingo pink and canary yellow? Or cobalt blue and vanilla white? This is disturbing. I imagined that if it existed only government type places would have it because let's face it, what are they full of? Still, the 4 ply I found feature two 2 ply's glued together (I would imagine with some type of biodegradable solvent as opposed to something harsh), they come with scented tubes. Scented tubes people! Talk about going over the line. Next thing you know, they'll have 6 and 8 ply. Pretty soon they'll sell us disposable towelettes with initials on them, in colors and shapes, patterns and so forth. What is the world coming to and who really needs 5 ply? I'm going to stop this nonsense. If I keep going I'll end up writing a bathroom book with all the different types of paper, their manufacturing processes, how the materials are sourced and so forth. I'll have to print the entire thing on 5 ply, so people can wipe with a page. Betcha someone does it. I couldn't, but these are the mad thoughts one thinks of the higher in ply we go. Stick to 2. Maintain sane and save a buck where you can. Not all of us can be the Sultan of Brunei, although we can pretend on occasion.

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OMG, I LOVE THIS TISSUE! If tissue had a grading system this would be the top tier. It is so soft and absorbent. I have to tell my youngest grandchildren not to overuse tissue because of the fuffiness! Northern is now a name that I trust without question.