Your Child is Not Broken: Parent Your Neurodivergent Child Without Losing Your Marbles

The subtitle of the final chapter of Heidi Mavir’s book “Your Child is not Broken” is “Permission to Become ‘That’ Parent”, a phrase that to me actually sums up the whole book.If you are at the start of your journey with a SEND child, trying to navigate the system to find out what support is available, not wanting to chase people too many times as you don’t want to be seen as pushy, then this is the book for you. If you are further along, have already grown weary with the endless meetings with professionals, are fed up of being fobbed off by people minimising your child’s needs, then this is also the book for you! Heidi’s retelling of her and her autistic son Theo’s story gives an introduction to the challenges that parents of SEND children are likely to face, along with practical suggestions of what to say to professionals who just don’t seem to ‘get it’. I’ve been ‘that’ parent for nearly ten years now and while I’ve made my peace with how I’m sure I’m perceived by professionals, it never stops being exhausting. You never stop questioning whether you are doing the right thing and when you are tired and frustrated after yet another meeting it’s easy to wonder if maybe the professionals are right, maybe your concerns aren’t valid and you should just give their way a try. In those moments this book is a well needed reminder that it’s not you, it’s not your child, it’s the system that’s broken.Heidi is incredibly honest about everything she has been through and I found her openness at describing her initial misunderstandings about autism to be refreshing. As a parent it’s hard to look back at the things we did wrong before we knew better and it can be easy to think that everyone else always gets it right. Heidi describes how she confronted her unconscious biases around autism and disability and leaves the reader feeling inspired to do the same, rather than feeling personally blamed or attacked for having those views to start with.“Your Child is not Broken” is an easy and sometimes sweary read. Reading it felt like having my best friend sitting next to me, patiently reassuring me that I do know what’s best for my child and encouraging me to keep fighting for the support they need. Heidi speaks with the authority someone can only attain through living through that situation themselves and she validates the wide range of emotions felt by SEND parents by showing that we are not alone in feeling as we do. Thank you so much Heidi for sharing your story with us, I’ll be recommending “Your Child is not Broken” to all the SEND parents I know!

As a multiply ND parent who’s experienced similar barriers and struggles , this book was so relatable, affirming, well researched & at times darkly hilarious.If you reach those moments of being overwhelmed, hopeless at the repeated barriers, the invalidation, the exhaustion of trying to get your child’s needs met whilsy struggling with your own challenges and disabilities, have reached rock bottom and feel like giving up , this is the book to reach for to ground yourself and feel less alone.It gets real, nothing is left to the imagination, it is full of descriptions of the most real life vulnerable moments you face as a ND parent. I truly appreciated the swears and dark humour. Touching the Gate chapter was especially relatable.Great thought has obviously gone into this book to make it as accessible as possible. I usually can’t finish a book but the font, colour of pages, spacing meant I effortlessly read it in one sitting, normally I have to reread, focus intensely, sit armed with a dictionary and then give up.It’s a book I’ll return to, reread , especially in those moments when it all gets too much and I need a reality check that it’s the system that’s broken not my child.

For parents of neurodrivergent children this is a lovely book to read. If your looking for validation of your own feelings, experiences and to help remember your not alone in the many experiences you and your child are going through this is perfect. It's almost like having a best friend that can finally relate to what you feeling and going through.I would describe it as more of a memoir of the authors experiences then a book that will give you factual information or tips.I loved the writing style, very convenstaional, down to earth and free of jargon. Warning, the author does not hold back on her views or mix her words to sugar coat the reality she describes (this includes swearing), I did not mind this at all and find it refreshing to read a ture a acount if what a parent and child experiences in plain language.This also gave some insight into realising you as a parent may be neruodiverse and how this can also affect you.Overall, I really enjoyed this read. If your looking for something light, relatable without getting into the heavier side of understanding parenting nervodivergent children and at the start of learning more about the area, this is for you.

Too early to comment as only just started reading the book, however the start of the book has captured my interest. I was drawn to reading this because it was written by someone who has lived experiences and overcome challenges.

Your Child is Not Broken is brilliant. Heidi is honest, open and straight-talking, and this is an easy read that I know hundreds of thousands of parents and carers will relate to, especially those whose children fall into the 'Not Fine in School' bracket. The author is very clear that the challenges that appear when parenting a neurodivergent child come from the surrounding environments and attitudes, not from the child themselves.Heidi writes about how neurodivergent children find themselves in a world that is not built for them, a world full of sensory overwhelm and unwritten social rules. They are constantly being told that they are getting wrong and punished for it, when they don't instinctively know what the 'right' way is. There are ten chapters covering a wide variety of topics such as masking, burnout, school difficulties, gaslighting and diagnosis. The story of Heidi's fight for support for her child who began to struggle with attending secondary school is woven throughout the book, and other families' experiences with the system are shared. There are also examples of the kind of judgement from professionals that is levelled at families like ours every day.I hope this book gives more parents the confidence to push back against the attitudes of certain professionals and encourages them to take a moment to consider what is best for their children. It can be all too easy to get caught up in the system and society's expectations but Heidi gives compelling reasons for why we need to break that cycle.

Hi All. I can recommend this book if you have a neurodiverse child, or a child who sometimes doesn't seem to know what they need or who they are. It's written by a mum who is also neurodiverse. It's a bit sweary but if you don't mind that, there is a really funny ******** bingo at the end of the book listing phrases that neurotypical 'professionals' have used on her or other parents with neurodivergents. I ticked off a few. In the second edition, it's got an interview with her autistic son which was really useful to read some insights from someone who thinks like my daughter. It's helped me to understand autism better than any official learning materials. It's also helped me to be able to reference some of the book to the school, who prefer to call it "non-compliance" rather than autism. There is hope for us, if books like this keep highlighting what neurodiversity is. Thank you Heidi for a really good read, that has made me laugh, cry and given me some real a-ha moments.

The short review-I highly recommend and gently insist that any parent of a SEN child read this. It's both validating and empowering and will help you.To SEN professionals, I recommend you also read this and share with everyone you work with.The long, waffly review-I'm only two thirds through and had to force myself to put it down and actually go to sleep last night. My only negative is that this book doesn't arrive with Heidi herself and an endless supply of coffee and biscuits! Reading this really feels like you are sitting down with a friend and talking about things in a relaxed, light and honest way, which is so different from the cold, clinical and overly complicated bumpf that gets handed to you and scrambles your tired brain within seconds. Heidi simply shines a light on how her child and so many others are failed and addresses such important points that are invaluable. It's easy as a parent, especially a neurodivergent parent, to feel traumatised, gaslit and manipulated by the system when trying to get support and recognition for your child and this book reassures you that you feel that way because the system does all of those things either intentionally or unintentionally or a combination of both. Heidi empowers readers and parents to advocate for their children and themselves instead.Heidi's experience mirrors my own so closely and to see it reflected like this made me feel like I am not alone and that I am capable of standing my ground and standing up for my son and my four other neurodivergent children. I shouldn't have to be teaching educational and health professionals about neurodivergence and yet, I find I have to.The statistics shared in the beginning of the book are both infuriating and heartbreaking. Heidi shines a light throughout this book on how this is a huge and very hushed up national failing of SEN children and their familes. I add my voice to hers in calling that out and pointing my finger back at the professionals and the systems in place who we as parents, turn to for support and who fail us time and time again.Our children are not broken. The education system, the healthcare system, the SEND system is broken.Heidi, THANK YOU!

It’s written in a way that is so easy to read. A lot of books are textbook vibe. This is not, thank you! I read it in one sitting and then passed it to my dad who out of the family is the one that struggles to get my daughter the most. The part around life expectancy and suicide was tough- but it confirmed what I always knew. We need to get it right, if we don’t the consequences are too great to think about too deeply. Thank you for the added bit in the second edition and taking the time for that it was all good stuff. This book was recommended at a training I attended as I’m a professional working with children as well as a mum. I have three girls one is neurodivergent and one has complex physical needs and uses a power wheelchair and those who know will know life is actually easier for my physically disabled child. Hope Theo is doing well in college.

A catchy title and a confortable read but for this price I expected way more.

This book begins with tears and ends with tears. Not the sad pitiful tears- but the large “lump in your throat” inducing kind of tears. I didn’t know anyone else had such a similar experience to me, I didn’t know I was not so incredibly alone. The pages of this book are healing, just simply by the amount of validation that came through the words on the pages. I felt, at many times that I too could have written this book with the amount of similar circumstances the author described. I learned a lot but it really opened my eyes to the fact that I can help make this world more palatable for my son, and myself as his single mama just by simply accepting him as he is and loving him in the best ways I know how especially letting him be HIMSELF.What this book did not do is give some sort of instructions or road map on “how to improve things”. It’s more a reminder to breathe and that you aren’t alone in this very lonely journey of parenting a adhd/asd child. Very much not a “how-to” book so if you’re looking for that look elsewhere. This book is a short read, I honestly wish it were longer. I’m inspired to try some more social online groups and to love on my son and be his advocate in the best way I can figure out how.I do have one thing- especially at first that was super off putting about this book and that was the font that was chosen. I about lost my mind when I opened the book to see a silly font- but as I started in on the preface I completely forgot about the authors font choice and decided in the end it didn’t really matter what font choice was chosen. I think that says a lot about how powerful the book is.

Must read for anyone who has neueodivergent children or is working with them (such as teachers and other professionals). Love this book!

Wow!!! By far one of the best books about autism to date!Written by a parent of an autistic young person for parents, Your Child is Not Broken is a compassionate and neuro affirming gem that will stand the test of time for many years to come.An honestly written, often funny guide that no parent should be without, this book gives the whys and hows and helps parents feel seen and less alone.Topics like school refusal, PDA, parent blame, ableism, and strategies to advocate for your child are all highlighted.Written in plain, accessible format, here is a book that can be read by anyone whether they are a parent, professional, or neurodivergent person looking for a book that 'gets them'.5 🌟 and then some! Heidi Mavir is one to watch.-Jen Elcheson Smits, contributing writer, Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism

It is not a easy road but this book gets you more than a few steps ahead.Thank you! HEIDI