Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood

Matrescence is a wonderful book that examines how modern Western society’s approach to childbirth and motherhood is inherently flawed, particularly in the UK. Lucy Jones says ‘I thought mothering would just be changing nappies and cuddling a baby. Instead, it took me to the edge of what it means to be human.’ I scribbled all over this book, highlighting so many sentences and paragraphs that articulated my feelings like nobody ever has before. The review snippets on the back cover include ‘comes as close as it’s possible to describing this indescribable moment in a woman’s life’, and ‘Finally, someone has properly expressed what the process of becoming a mother does to women: their sense of self and their brains. We all owe her a debt because it wasn’t just in our heads’. Oh my God I wanted to hug these reviewers as well as the author. Lucy highlights how the UK’s approach to birth and early motherhood is severely lacking compared to other European countries, which shocked me. I thought it was the same everywhere, and I’d heard that we actually get quite a good deal when it comes to maternity leave, so I never realised that giving birth in the UK puts you somewhat at a disadvantage. She says: ‘Why are we sending a high-risk group off to spend an unknown period of time home alone, where they must look after vulnerable infants and recover from the trauma of giving birth, while burdened with loneliness, lack of sleep, and a shedload of impossible cultural expectations, including the imperative to enjoy every minute of it?’ There is also much examination of how women's brains are forever altered by having children, at a cellular level. I'll never think of the phrase 'baby brain' in the same way again. It's not just our bodies that are put through the wringer; there are so many hidden changes, and it's about time they were acknowledged. I am very passionate about maternal mental health and this book is so important. It's invaluable for anyone who has suffered with the mental challenges of motherhood in any way, no matter how big or small, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

I devoured this book over the course of 2 weeks after my husband showed me an article he thought I’d be interested in that mentioned it. He knows me well 😁 Never before has my actual experience of early motherhood been articulated with such clarity and honesty. I believe that many moms will feel seen and heard in their motherhood journey in a way that previously has only been ‘allowed’ to be expressed using humor. It seems to be a new concept for the raw reality of motherhood to be expressed as a serious topic. ‘Matrescence’ is a little like the TV show Motherland, meets David Attenborough, meets Germaine Greer. The author weaves together her own raw experience as a mother, with her early immersion in feminist education and her knowledge as a science and nature writer (resulting in the reader contemplating their motherhood journey alongside that of a mother spider who is consumed by her spiderlings days after they hatch…and other such wonders in nature). The result is a wonderful story of one woman’s brutally truthful experience of matrescence, interspersed with examples of metamorphosis and matrescence from other species, as if to put the human experience of motherhood into a much bigger context, whilst also managing to deliver a summary history of motherhood paradigms and ideologies throughout the ages. In this, the author has accomplished quite a feat. All of this is delivered unapologetically, with a throbbing undercurrent of an earnest feminist perspective. A perspective that acknowledges both the ‘emancipation’ of women from the home by liberal feminists of the 70’s and 80’s, and the failures of subsequent feminist activity to address the sociological and biological realities of motherhood in the decades that followed, which have contributed in part to the ‘more punishing’ institution of motherhood’ that women entering matrescence in the early 21st century have faced. It is illuminating. It is affirming. It is moving. Her anecdotes from early motherhood, stirred emotions in me because of the way they touched nerves that I didn’t know were still exposed. The pinball between abject panic and relief that is caring for a toddler. The desperation and joy. The powerlessness and the fulfillment. I could go on and on about this book but I really just think you should read it. New and aspiring moms should read it to supplement their NCT classes and round out their expectations of the next few years. All men should read it to give them an understanding of what their wives, mothers, sisters, co-workers, the woman serving him in a shop, are going through or have gone through, and the part they can play on a practical level to redress some of the societal imbalances that have crept into being. I think we might all become just a little more compassionate after reading it. If you have been a mom with children of any age, you will find something here that gives you some ‘aha’ moments…whether that’s learning how the institution of motherhood has been manipulated to suit altering political agendas, or learning how neuroscience is now beginning to explain why a Motherhood Identity crisis actually occurs, or understanding the best way to support a mum with young children in 2023, whose reality is likely to be very different from our own experience of matrescence, there is something here for every one. The author touches on the impact of matrescence on identity throughout the book and towards the end, sums up, with seeming resignation, that after the birth of her 2nd child, about 2 years after her first, “any delusion of self-reliance and independence were truly shattered.” And it is from this shattering that we have the opportunity to reconstruct our identity, and emerge from matrescence with greater resilience, more self-compassion and increased confidence to define our own motherhood journey rather than drop into the slip stream of the prevailing ideology of the day. Lucy, thank you. You have done us all a great service and I think the ripples of this book will contribute to empowering individual women to take the reins of their own matrescence and direct it back to their center. Perhaps we mother best when we free ourselves from all the models, ideologies, theories and philosophies of ‘experts', who often have their own agenda behind what we ‘should’ be doing as mothers. Perhaps the greatest gift of matrescence, the process, is the opportunity to re-construct ourselves on our own terms. ‘Matrescence’ the book will embolden you to do so.

This is , for me, quite a difficult read- hard to get into as some of the devices used by the author to illustrate her ideas are a bit odd and not helpful. However as a truthful exploration of motherhood, how it affects you and the lasting effects experienced, it is a powerful testimony. Women need a bit more of this empowering truth as do the rest of society. That includes government.

Best book I have read on the metamorphosis of pregnancy and the transition from maiden to mother. Up to date, informative, women science backed and realism.

Exceptional read. Very healing as well for someone like me who is struggling postpartum

There were some elements of this book that were really interesting but others were challenging. While I respect that this book is trying to be realistic about the negativity sling motherhood I also think it fails to bring the positives at all and therefore ends up a very challenging read. Whilst this book is very likely to be read by mothers, as a very new mother (3 months) I'd recommend holding off and reading it at a later time.

I’m blown away by this book. Thank you Lucy for writing it. Well researched and written. I only wish I’d read this when I was going through the darkest period of post natal depression. This book is needed and in our capitalist world and the forgotten mothers 🙏

I listened to this while I was walking for miles pushing my fractious 3 month old around in the pram and wish I'd bought the physical book so I could underline parts and remember them. It felt like the first book on motherhood I've read that really drilled into how contradictory a role it is in Western society, how we deify and despise mothers almost simultaneously. It put into words so many half formed thoughts I'd had about why exactly it feels so hard to 'succeed' at motherhood. In particular, the contradictions between telling girls and young women that they should work hard for good grades/careers- only for the minute they give birth tell them that nothing should matter for them anymore apart from their child. I also found the exploration of what is 'natural' and what is societal fascinating - the division of caring labour, the role of breastfeeding in that division, the fact that 12 months maternity leave places women squarely in the domestic sphere from thereon in- how much of that is 'maternal instinct' (are mothers biologically less able to be away from their children than fathers?) and how much of it is convenient for patriarchy. How much easier to make women do the unpaid labour and tell them how natural it is for them. One thing that I think could have been explored more was the assumption that all women love and bond instantly with their babies. This wasn't the case for me, and lots of mothers I know- it was a slow burn, but quite a scary and shameful place to be if you expect it to be instant. It would have been good if the author had explored these assumptions and myths too, alongside the biology of it. But overall a really fascinating book that was illuminating on many crossovers between myth and biology in motherhood

I wish I've read this book before pregnancy and my matrescence, it is so honest. Now I recommend it to those who've thinking about it but don't see the whole picture.

Matrescence is the single greatest book on motherhood that I have ever read. If you're pregnant with your first, already have three kids, or are even just *thinking* about becoming a mother someday, you need to read this book. You NEED to. NEED. I have never felt more seen in a book in all my life. This is the only motherhood book to make me cry because it felt like someone finally articulated *exactly* what the entire motherhood journey feels like. It's so authentic, so transparent, and so well-researched. It tears away all the propaganda BS that is pushed online in motherhood communities and even unravels all the MEN behind a lot of the movements ("natural birth", "attachment parenting", "breast is best" - just to name a few). Reading this is the most honest account of this insane path that absolutely isn't for everyone, and you will feel that every other motherhood blog, book, podcast, and mummy influencer lied to you -- because they have. At least Lucy Jones has been real.

Beautiful read if you’re a mom struggling with adapting to the advertised “normalities” of mom hood. As a FTM w/ PPD/PPA that feels it well past healing. It really helped make sense of emotions I felt so alienated for.

Love the book! It made me think a lot about being a mother and part of society. It's a hard read at times (especially when or if hormonal), but very enlightening.

Great read for new mothers! It really explains the essence of motherhood and the transition. Everything you’re going through is written down. You end up feeling very validated!