TOTO SW3056#01 S550E Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat with Cleansing Warm, Nightlight, Auto Open and Close Lid, Instantaneous Water Heating, and EWATER+, Elongated Contemporary, Cotton White

First off... A rating for "Softness?" WTF?Okay people... I had a WHOLE review written up in my head where I played Captain Kirk and acted out several episodes of wiping out the Klingons! But then I thought... These people don't want a laugh... They want an honest review... So here goes.I have been using my Toto bidet seat now for a few months now. It installs easily and the hardest part is wiring the outlet needed for it to work. I do all my own work and do it to code. I needed to run a wire up the outside wall to where my toilet was and then cut through wainscoting and drywall to install the outlet. Since I wanted the outlet out of the way... That meant a contorted position for a few hours. So... That took the longest part of the install. Since most of you will install this and run it off an extension cord until you have an electrician install an outlet... I'll go straight to the install.First off you will remove your old seat. CLEAN very well and install the new seat per directions! It's really THAT easy! Your kid could do it! A few tips on plumbing though and this is generic advice. NEVER USE PIPE DOPE on ANYTHING! If you MUST, and ONLY where called for, use teflon tape... But is for metal/metal or plastic/metal threads ONLY! Most plumbing these days (when it comes to hooking something up) is either a brass crush washer or a rubber seal. Teflon is NOT used there as the water should never make it to the threads! If your threads are holding back the water... You have done something wrong! So... After countless bathroom redos... Here's the straight dope! Get a wax toilet ring and have it handy! I've had the same one for 20 years. When you are putting the assembly together you can apply just a thin coating of wax. This helps the seals seat whether rubber or brass. If you are removing your tank... Apply it to the tank seal and the rubber washers (both sides) that hold the tank down. In 25 years I have NEVER had a leak doing it this way!Now... Let's move on! The remote on this was fairly intuitive. Sitting on the toilet you can tell what does what and you might decide you don't need to read the manual. You would be wrong! (as I was!) Men don't read the directions... right? Anyway... I was pretty upset with the lack of pressure until I read the manual on how to increase it. Um... Press the spray function TWICE! That you will get you percolated!The seat is INSTANT warm... So much so I thought I had diarrhea! Turn that sh*t OFF! Maybe come winter but definitely NOT summer. I turned the warm water spray to just under high as I did the blower. The spray CAN get too hot and the blower will go up hot enough to singe your butt hairs off! Seriously! The cool thing is... You can set up all this as User1 and program what you like. All the temps and positions of the spray nozzles. You need to realize that you MUST move around on the seat a little and almost try to let the water into your body (It won't but it might feel like it!) in order to remove what's there. Generally I go for about a 2 minute spray and a 1 minute dry... But you are till going to give at least 1 wipe to make sure you are dry and clean.I mounted my remote on the wall right beside the seat and I freaking LOVE this machine! If it stays working as it is, I would call this one of my favorite investments! And that is how I view it... an investment into myself! Just like having a good bed to sleep in!Now... Let's get to another side I have never seen mentioned. This setup can be a little sexual in certain ways. I mean... Sitting down and having the spray hit certain areas can totally change your mood and/or train of thought! You might sit down thinking about how you are going to tackle the project you just left in the basement... Next thing you know you're thinking about jumping someone's bones! This thing can be arousing I find. Maybe it is just me but I can't imagine that is the case. Not to sound sexist... But if I was a woman I would never leave the seat and I would have my meals brought to me! And... If you have already installed this seat and haven't thought of that... You most certainly will now... won't you? It's okay... You can say it!In closing I will say that cleanliness results from time being sprayed, directions being sprayed and viscosity of poop. So... This tool works as it should... If you work it as you should!

Listen up, folks, because I'm about to spill the beans (or should I say, spill the water?) on the Toto Washlet. This thing is a game-changer, a butt-cleaning revolution that will leave you wondering how you ever survived without it.Now, let's get down to business. You know how sometimes you feel like your rear end could use a little extra TLC? Well, the Toto Washlet is here to save the day, or should I say, save your derriere. With its gentle, cleansing spray, it takes bathroom hygiene to a whole new level. Trust me when I say that my backside has never felt cleaner.But wait, there's more! This technological marvel is packed with features that will blow your mind. It's got adjustable water temperature, pressure, and even different spray patterns. Who knew that choosing how your nether regions get cleaned could become such a sophisticated decision? It's like a day at the spa, but for your bottom.The Toto Washlet doesn't just clean your rear; it pampers it. It's like having a personal assistant devoted to your hygiene needs. I half-expect it to start playing some relaxing music while I'm on the throne, or maybe offer me a complimentary foot massage. Okay, maybe that's a bit much, but you get the idea.Now, I know what you're thinking. "Do I really need a toilet seat that sprays water at my behind?" And the answer is a resounding YES! Once you experience the luxurious cleanliness of a bidet-like wash, you'll wonder how you ever managed with just plain old toilet paper. It's a game-changer, my friends, a rear-end revelation.But here's a word of caution: once you go Washlet, you never go back. I find myself longing for that refreshing spray even when I'm not at home. I catch myself contemplating installing one in every bathroom I encounter, like some sort of washroom vigilante. But alas, I must learn to share the joy and let others discover the wonders of the Toto Washlet for themselves.So, if you're ready to take your bathroom experience to a whole new level, join the clean booty revolution and get yourself a Toto Washlet. Your rear end will thank you, and you'll never look at your bathroom visits the same way again. Prepare to be amazed, my friends, because cleanliness has never been so captivating.