My Bonus Mom!: Taking the Step Out of Stepmom Hardcover – August 15, 2011

This is a great book! We purchased all the main stepmom books on amazon (there aren’t many) and this one is my favorite. It’s more than just a blended family book (which usually discuss families more generally), but it goes through the basic steps of how a child comes to have a stepmom. It was really helpful for our 5 year old because it briefly explained divorce, parents fighting, and dad moving out to a new place. For kids this is true for, they will relate to the story immediately. It also explains that the those things are not caused by the kids. And from there the story evolves into dad meeting someone new, marrying her, and her becoming a “bonus” mom. It also explains that the stepmom is not replacing mommy and that mommy is still very important. Overall, the book does a good job to portray stepmoms in a positive light in relation to biological moms and it also provides context by way of a light divorce conversation. We honestly really liked that it made the two holiday / birthday celebration seem normal. Which happens regardless of there being a stepmom in the picture.There was someone on here that complained about the dad being portrayed negatively, and I get it. The bad cooking comment is a bit of a jab but we just skipped that line when reading it to my stepson. Other than that, it’s not very negative towards dads.I recommend this book because it provides some objective truth to kids who have or will have a stepmom. This is what happens and it’s not filled with drama. Really great book, and it rhymes!

I must confess up front, I do know the author. As a matter of fact, I have known the author Tami and her entire family for quite a long time. So you may count this review as biased if you must. I can bear witness to how Tami's family turned a divorce and remarriages into a wonderful, positive thing for her entire big, beautiful blended family! To this very day, you can see and feel that from everyone in her clan. This book so wonderfully hits head on how a real life, confusing, unsettling, and scary divorce can be turned into a healthy, loving environment for all. I applaud all four of her parents for the great work they did. They all can be credited with helping to raise four pretty amazing kids that I am lucky enough to know. However, simply living the experience, does not automatically write the book. Tami has done a tremendous job molding her own story into an inspiring and touching, perfectly written guide for all those faced with this situation. I was not a child of divorce, but my daughter unfortunately was . When my daughter was young, her mother remarried and it was a struggle. I wish I would have had this book available during that time. Mostly for my daughter, but for myself as well. I have come to very much like my daughter's Bonus Dad and am thankful he is a part of my daughter's life. If your children or anyone you care about, is faced with this situation...this amazing book can be a helpful tool to help the kids (and parents) through the rough waters of a split up or a new person coming into their lives! Bravo Tami!

I bought this book for my husband to read to my future stepson, who is five. He seems to have some loyalty conflicts and he is often confused as to what my role as stepmom is. This book is best read by the child's father, or even their mother (wishful thinking on my part, I guess), since it starts out addressing deeper issues like the parents fighting, telling the kids they are divorcing, and dad moving to a new house. But then it says how every other weekend they went to dad's, they got to have two of each holiday and birthday, and it was great. It explains how they felt when dad met someone new and that their mom even liked her. When the dad married the new woman, the kids said how no one can replace mom, but the new woman is a *bonus*, and is simply another person to love them. I think it appropriately explains what a stepmom is to children between the ages 4-7. When my fiance read this book to his five year old, you could see him thinking and making connections during certain parts of the book. I am very very happy and grateful I made this purchase!!

I am the stepmother of 2 children ages 5 and 3. My husband and I have a strong, healthy relationship with their mother. We thought this book would help them to understand the role/title of their new step-parent, but it does so by denigrating the father ever so slightly. For example, it shows a picture of the father leaving the house with a box of his things all in a huff and a dog chasing behind him (maybe the dad isn't always the one that leaves or is angry?); on the next page it says, "On Mondays and Tuesdays Mom's dinners were good/On Thursdays and Fridays Dad made what he could" - this is the opposite in our family and, again, degrades the ability of a father. We're all very aware of the negative connotation men get in divorce and/or child custody - and there are plenty of stories to support it. But there are just as many stories of truly wonderful fathers who are every bit as good of a dad as the mommy is a mom (and stories where the mom isn't involved at all). Really wish this book would have done a better job holding both parents up on a pedestal so our children could relate. Unfortunately, the negative stereotypes softly perpetuated in the book take away from the real beauty of a growing family out of divorce.

As a mother of four young children currently going through a divorce, i can honestly say this book has brought some optimism to myself and my children. After reading the book for the first time, my daughter said how fun it would be to have a bonus mom and dad. It was one of the first times she talked about the divorce without being sad about it. We loved the joyfulness in the story so much that we bought a copy for her school counselor. She regularly has lunch with her, and they read the story together each time.Divorce is difficult no matter what age. This book gives children a story to be optimistic about their future with their parents. It also gives parents hope that they will find love again and will be able to share that new special person with their precious children.

Unfortunately this book did not live up to our expectations, which is a pity because there is a need for books of this type.The rhyme scheme is too childish for my six year old, who sees it as baby-ish. (And it is pretty gimmicky.)The book begins with the kids confusion regarding the divorce, why are mommy and daddy moving apart, etc. Which, hopefully, has already been handled with the kids by the time the step-parent conversation is taking place.The book then goes into the time post divorce. "On Monday on Wednesday Mom's dinner was good, on Tuesday and Thursday Dad made what he could". (Sexist!)Additionally there is a religious line right at the very end of the book "Someone is watching from above" which isn't something we talk about with our kids.The whole book deals with a confusing topic and tries to make it accessible for children, but it handles such a huge period of time and in a very young rhyme tone, that I can't see what age group this would actually work for.I wouldn't recommend it.