The Way of Boys: Promoting the Social and Emotional Development of Young Boys

So many insights and solutions on how to help your son (and yourself) flourish. The book is divided into easy-to-find chapters, whether he is a bully, very shy, running the house etc….

Simply put, this book is a paradigm shifter. You will not think that same way about your young boy after reading it. It is like a canteen full of spring water to someone in the desert. If you have a challenging boy aged 3 to 8, you need this book. Period.What is so great about the book? First, it is written by a very credentialed and experienced psychologist. Unlike some authors who write in this field, Rao has no agenda other than the welfare of your son. Second, it is incredibly reassuring. If you have read many books on difficult children, you know that much of the literature is scary; the authors act as if your young child's problems will only get worse unless you do intervention A or B or C (and even if you follow the advice, he will always be 'different'). Rao writes persuasively that many boys have developmental delays that are temporary and not significant in the great scheme of things; he even suggests that these problems are actually opportunities for the boys to mature and learn. These problems are not character flaws; they are developmental delays or regressions -- and your son may have them at that same time that he is excelling in other developmental areas. Rao does not believe in diagnoses for very young boys for most disorders, but he is not dogmatic (again, no agenda). He thinks that medication and intervention can be useful in extreme cases, with certain problems (autism), and with older children. Third, Rao provides powerful tools for parents to use when their son is in one of these developmental hiccups (example: "time away" instead of "time-out"; immediate consequences without a lot of talk). Much of Rao's advice can be found elsewhere, but some of it is new. He emphasizes that a young boy is changing incredibly quickly; a weakness that he has today may well be a distant memory in six months.What are the book's limitations? First, the book does not cover the teen-ager or pre-teen. It is all about young boys, primarily 4 to 7. If your son is in that range, it is a great book for you. If your son is younger, buy it now in preparation. If your son is older, you should probably pass on this book. Second, the book does not deal extensively with autism/Asperger's/related issues. (Rao does write that some children are misdiagnosed with autism and that autism is one of those conditions that greatly benefits from early intervention (unlike ADHD and most of the others).) Third, the book's great emphasis is reassuring parents that their son is very likely to be fine and a good person; it spends a little less time on how to handle the issue while it is occuring (although Rao does present many, many strategies and numerous case studies).Bottom line: If you are worried about your young boy's defiance/hyperactivity/shyness/compulsive behavior/aggression/etc., buy this book.

This is a great book called, "The Way of Boys" by, Dr. Anthony Rao. It does a great job in illustrating some of the experiences he has had interacting with boys that were brought to his psychology office. The most interesting examples to me were regarding those boys that were referred to him by daycare centers and schools because, those places felt it was their place to "diagnose" these children and tell the parents they needed to see a psychologist. I highly recommend his book. It is also a great resource for just getting a grasp of the normal developmental stages for a boy on a psychological level; which quite frankly a pediatrician is not in any way adept at diagnosing. It really allowed me to develop a different perspective on what should be considered normal for boy development. It allowed this quite, shy, reserved Mother to accept and honor my son's unique outgoing and bold personality. I was able to embrace him for who he is and for that I am very thankful to this doctor for taking the time to write such a wonderful book.

I read this book when my son was 2.5 and my son is now 6. Most of these reviews are from parents who were being told something was wrong, but they knew in their hearts that nothing was wrong. In our case, we were being told something was wrong and we thought that indeed something might be wrong. But we hoped that everything was normal, just delayed. Now, we know that indeed something WAS wrong, and we've been lucky to find excellent therapists to help us. Our son has benefitted incredibly from many social/emotional interventions including a special preschool with a 7:2 student teacher ratio. We had to teach him all the self regulation and social problem solving skills other kids learn naturally. Even though we ended up on the other side, this book is caring, well written, and has really practical advice on managing interactions with schools and parent teacher meetings, and provides perspective and hope. I highly recommend it, but I also recommend stepping away from denial and finding skilled, empathetic practitioners who can help when help is needed.

This book is awesome! It has great insight into the mind of your child and his development to help you better understand why he acts the way he does. It's a great book for all parents of young boys, especially those who think there may be something wrong with their child, those who have a child being diagnosed or wanting diagnosis for their child and just the parent who wants to understand their child's behavior. Understanding their unique development which this book help teach you can really help!

My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and while researching all of what that entailed, I read this book to temper the rising frustration and panic I was experiencing. The takeaway that I got from this book is that it isn't that raising our boys might not be a steeper hill or more work than we originally anticipated, but that a bigger picture is required to keep perspective. This fit the bill for me.

A must read for moms of boys. It will help you understand not only your son better, but your husband too! And his relationship with your son. Also recommended for teachers. I'm reading it now and my son is just over year. I would say 12 - 18 months is a good time to read it. This book focuses on young boys 2 - 7 or 8. Easy to read and well written. The author has seen hundreds of boys had has examples for everything.

I have a 6 year old who challenges me with his impulsive behavior and needs constant reminders and can't keep still and focused for long at school. I realize now this is typical and challenging myself to take on more action to guide him and step back with patience at the same time. This book has given me tools and encouragement and I want to recommend it to all my friends with boys. Thank you!

does as it says on the tin, fast delivery, good price, good read, what more can i say, can't think of anything negative.

Not only is it a great read but I can identify with the most of the men and boys in my life making understanding them a lot easier.

The book is sobering in that it demonstrates the effect of the majority female education system and how the past generation or two of education has essentially made being boy-like a "bug" that needs to be worked out at best.But it is full of hope in that a lot of the things we and "the system" worry about will be outgrown, because boys used systems based approaches to socialization and tactile interaction and mobility to learn the world around them. Boys need our love and attention in a way that allows them to thrive on the terms they are made for. Take heart, this is a great read if your young boy is making you want to rip out your hair and will help you empathize with what he is going through, and give you some awesome advice to help him grow and flourish. Highly recommended to anybody who has any young boys in their family or works with them - it's an eye opener relative to the pop narrative on masculinity, and was ahead of its time.

I picked up this book to help me better understand my son and why he does what he does.It made my situation feel "normal" and no longer abnormal in what we were dealing with.

This book has been so very helpful to me as a mother of rowdy and rambunctious boys. I highly recommend!