Party of One Paperback – January 7, 2003

If you ever felt guilty for spending time all by yourself and constantly pressured to make some excuses for not hanging out with others, this book is yours. Having read this book, now all I can think of is "Why didn't I read this sooner?"The author will painstakingly show you, with lots of examples from all walks of lives, past and present, from business, religion or academia, that it's not a crime to be alone. I didn't realize that it is even possible to be alone stress-free without even a hint of shame, and I was very skeptical of the premise of the book, at least for the first 10 to 20 pages. Loners like me have an ingrained belief that to be alone, you need to have some valid, convincing excuses to do so as it is against the social norm and therefore, not encouraged or acceptable. We have been told, since we were very young, that it's not okay to be a loner and we should be friendly to others. This notion is so deep-rooted that it did actually take me the whole book to realize that we are doing nothing wrong by being alone. I thought this loner characteristic of mine is something to be remedied somewhere down the road, but the author says otherwise. Just as converting a gay guy into a straight is stressful and catastrophic (okay, a bad example... but I'm not Rufus. You get the point), forcing yourself into an extrovert will not end well (and in retrospect, that's why I've been constantly distressed). Loners are a very skeptical animal and I know that you won't buy my argument (my former self wouldn't have either) and that's why you need to get ahold of the book.Loners, by definition, do not gather around with like-minded people and form a group like yoga classes or poker buddies. Just because there is no such thing as loners anonymous (an oxymoron) does not mean that we are living an unacceptable form of life.I'd recommend the book for non-loners as well. If you ever wonder why your boyfriend thinks you are clingy when you think you are not, get a copy of the book and you'll have a peek into loners' mindset, and his behavior should make more sense to you (provided that he is a true loner, not an accidental loner like serial killers. See the book for the difference between the two). Loners are not the mainstream but all the more because of our minority status, it would be nice if you have some basic understanding of who we are and how we think, if you happen to have some loners in your life.I sometime go back to the book to remind myself that it's okay to politely decline if you don't want to hang out with others and enjoy the me time without guilt. A very eye-opening, empowering must read for introverts or loners.

Lots of eye opening ideas, concepts. Interesting reading. Some radical perspectives. Behind the fine cover, though, the printing quality—font legibility, poor print saturation (texts look like run through home-grade printer running out of ink)—could use professional upgrading.

I do not normally write reviews for books. Why do it? If I found value in the book or not is a question of my own answering. This book, however: This particular book has single-handedly changed my outlook on life. That is not an overstatement, not hyperbolic. That is true. I say this in a review of this book because it can change most people's lives, if they bother to read it. The fact of the matter is that Anneli is a very straightfoward writer. Very blunt. Little in the way of fanciful frills or lengthy distractions from her point. I like that. I like that a lot.If you are a loner, you might not care much for the opinions of others. Don't heed this review, in that case. I completely understand. I wouldn't in your shoes. But, know where I'm coming from. I normally would never say this about any book ever, but this is a book I could read, reread and never, ever tire from. It is that good.As for actual content: It's very topical, each chapter organized around a term that Anneli then goes into detail describing. She discusses how loners have impacted/been impacted by those terms/topics and how non-loners traditionally view them. It is rife with anecdotes and rich story-telling over statistics, but this does not diminish the force of her arguments: Loners are here to stay, but loners are not going to march on Washington for our rights. We don't do that. Never will. Still, it's good to know for a non-loner that we aren't creeps, perverts, or serial killers (at least, the majority of us, but as Anneli continuously reminds us, the same goes for non-loners). We also don't hate people (again, most of us). We just prefer to be HIGHLY selective of who we choose to be around.In all, a tour de force review of a part of society that will not cease to exist, but will almost never ever become the majority since we are simply not the ones who would like to have a hand in leading public opinion. That's not our way.The one thing I do have to say for any 2015 and beyond readers is that, as of now, the book is 13 years old. As such, don't expect any hints of social media talk in the book. I do hope that some sort of revision of this manuscript could continually evolve to speak to loners in every age at every time, but that's a lofty hope.