C. S. LewisA Grief Observed

C.S. Lewis gives us a deep glimpse into his soul in "A Grief Observed." Upon the death of his wife he has a very direct conversation (OK shouting match) with God regarding why the love of his life was taken from him. His journal notes regarding the loss of his lovely wife make up the main bulk of this short text.We are brought into the very personal loss of C.S. Lewis and his ruminating over the depth of pain that can be felt when you loose a loved one. He found himself often calling out, "Come back, Come back!", only to realize how selfish that request is. He wanted her back for himself, but what pain that would be for her.He makes a stark observation when he states, "They call Stephen the first martyr. Hasn't Lazarus the rawer deal?" His point being that at least Stephen died and stayed that way in paradise, but poor Lazarus died, went to paradise but then got called back to live several more years on a corrupt earth. Why can't we let the dead go? Why do we cling to them? Why do we wish they were still with us? Don't they have the better deal?After having written "The Problem of Pain," C.S. Lewis comes to realize that he didn't fully understand his topic when he wrote that. He now knows and understands the deep depth of grief and anguish that a person can feel over the loss of a loved one. In a very honest moment he pens, "don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand." Yet, he acknowledges that he was one of those himself.This book is for all who are grieving. It is for those who have lost a loved one and want an honest look into the heart of a Theologian who loves God and how he struggled with grief.This might be the best book for any Christian ever to read, digest and understand. It will help you love God more and understand are pain and anguish over loosing a loved one.Read well for understanding and encouragement !

Two days after my Dad passed, I bought A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I needed something. I could not focus on reading fiction. I needed to read something by someone who I knew whose words would be a comfort. C.S. Lewis wrote these essays after the death of his wife. These are what he called, “mad midnight moments.” For those who are going through a loss, laying down to sleep is the worst. His path through grief is healthy and relatable. However, I lost my dad, not my husband, so this is a book I would recommend to someone who is grieving over a spouse or partner. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t quotes that spoke to me and I am grateful for the insight so I can be there for my mother and listen to her as she processes her grief. There are so many quotes. This isn’t really a review. Just a sharing of quotes that might help someone else.“Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.”A GRIEF OBSERVEDTHIS. In fact, if you haven’t experienced a loss, still read this book. I could write so many things now to NOT say to people when going through their grief….sorry I am still weaving in and out of the angry stage. But in all seriousness, never say “this is all a part of God’s plan.” Never, ever, EVER. This is like tearing open a wound in someone’s heart. It creates even more anger than before. It is not helpful or comforting. Don’t try to point out the “positives.” I will never see my dad again on this Earth. I have to go the rest of my life without another hug or him calling me, “Joop” because his answering machine couldn’t pronounce my last name. I will never see play with my sons or nephews again and the hole that is in my heart will never close.“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me.”I never contemplated a life without my dad. I am still in denial. He could walk in the door any minute. I still feel alone even though I am surrounded by an amazing support system. How did I get blessed with the most amazing family? My sisters, my mom, and I are already close but now we cling to each other and we have all been there for each other.I am a fixer. I hate when those I love around me are hurting. I am trying to be a better listener because I am not the only one grieving. There is no fixing loss. The hurt and pain will hit in waves but it will never actually cease. As I said above, I hope this can help someone else. There are moments where I feel like I am drowning. But reading these words validated my feelings. They helped and could help you.