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C**Y
Truely a must read. for any married couple
MY wife and I have been married for just over 8 years. There are things in this book, very insightful things that really made sense to me. I don't read all that often, but i was really, really glad that i read this book. I would recommend married couples read this book wether or not they are having sexual mis connection issues or not. The insights on communication alone are awesome. Things my wife has been trying to tell me, (through one way or another) that never really sank in really made sense in this book. Really proves the point how important communication is. And communication isn't talking at each other and assuming that the other person understands what you are saying. You really need to make sure you are truly communicating your point to your partner.. and that your partner truly and correctly interprets what you are saying. I read this book in a couple sittings and have convinced my wife to read it. I really hope that it opens up a good dialog between us.This book also really shows how the push and pull in a relationship works..and that my actions will cause her reactions.. which could be good or bad. Seems really simple.. but it goes so much more deeper than one would think. Things like constantly doing things for your spouse, will cause them to never think about doing it themselves eventually. If a wife always takes out the trash, eventually the husband literally will never think about taking the trash out. Seems ridiculous.. but its quite true. If i literally never think about it, eventually it could led my wife to feel i am lazy and not willing to help out around the house.. its completely not the case, but reading through this really helped me realize. How important communicating more effectively is. She could ask me to take out the trash.. and if I am busy with something and say "i'll do it in a bit" and literally forget about it. its seems like i am just not doing it. I really don't mind taking out the trash and actually do this quite often.. but there have been times in the past where a task was requested of me and I literally forget to to it.. It was very profound to me that we are basically continually rewiring each other to think and do things based on how we interact with out spouse.My wife is one to bottle stuff up and not say anything until things come to a head.. which is really tough for me. Feeling blindsided when she finally voices her issues. Being blindsided also, causes me to see the situation as far more grim than it might be. This in turn will cause me to over question, and i guess pester her trying to get her to open up..figuring this is my only chance to get her to finally voice her opinions..... where sometimes she might be just venting and not really want to talk about the problem..but rather just be heard. Its funny how basic this seems but how easily i've missed the mark.I might consider reading more stuff by this author. I seem to understand easily what is being said. There were many things that finally clicked. When talking with my wife about my new insights, she immediately said "i've told you that before, many times" which really proves the point that we weren't truly communicating. I wasn't really completely understanding the issue at hand. It could also be that a problem presented without talk of a solution.. which is part of understanding. If she has an issue and voices it to me, I basically need her to assume i'm a complete idiot and need her to tell me what the solution looks like to her.lol, just read the book. i would recommend it to anyone. and just might recommend it to everyone lol
S**Z
A great book that is tasteful and also practical
I found this to be a very useful book to discuss how to improve a couple's sexual relationship. One word of caution, though, which I state because I am a Marriage Therapist and I can hear some client's likely to complain that this book is about improving a couple's sexual relationship through an increase in sex. That is a true statement about this book. The author makes it clear that she believes a good sexual relationship is important to a good marriage. She also makes the point that a good sexual relationship is more about feeling loved than it is about how much sex they have. So for those spouses who experience less sexual desire, be aware that much of the book addresses improving that desire and frequency in order to bridge the desire gap in your marriage. However, if you are open to reading this book, I believe you will also find that the author encourages your spouse to be more understanding and to approach his or her concerns with more patience and compassion. She also does take time to address how the high desire spouse can increase his or her satisfaction in the marriage even if sexual frequency and desire do not change. Another piece of important information about the book is that the author makes it clear that contrary to what the title might suggest, this is not just a book for couples who are not having sex at all or at far below average amounts. It really is just a book for any couple experiencing dissatisfaction in their marriage because of conflict between a high desire and a low desire spouse, regardless of how often they are actually having sex. I hope you enjoy this book.
M**S
I think this book is a BFF who you could talk to about your sex life
My God! I'm only at 4% of the book when I felt tears sliding my cheeks, I didn't know how much I'm suffering from a relationship with my ever oblivious and dense husband until I started reading this book. I love him dearly but I'm a wife with needs, I really do not want to accept the situation I am in but thought I have no choice, now I'm not sure how to send a copy of this book for my husband to read so he'll have an idea of what I feel. You see, he's the only man I have ever been with and I have zero experience other than with him so I'm really trying hard here to understand him. I love books, I read a lot and often times wish that one of my book boyfriends was the same as my hubby, I was resolved in accepting to have a lot of sex and experience in my next life until I read this book. I thought this book is talking to me, it knows how I feel and how I'm craving for male attention. I'm not done reading it but I can't help typing in something here ahead because I know this book is good. Less than 5% of the book and I'm emotional, I know I'm lonely and frustrated but I never thought I am THAT lonely and now the book is like a friend I could talk to.
M**N
Worth Reading
After about 25 years of happily active married sex life, things began to change in our relationship. I found that when I wanted to make love, my wife was like a cold fish. This phenomenon came on gradually, due to the aging process, I believe. With the help of reading this book, and a lot of reflection on the subject, I figured out that the time of day I'm interested in sex (early morning) and the time my wife is most turned on (late at night), were nearly opposite. I was so starved for sex, intimacy, and affection that I gladly waited until my wife comes to bed (around 2 AM), and then began my embraces. I found she still had a lot of fire in her. The early morning is simply the middle of her sleep cycle. So my story has a satisfactory ending. In addition, my wife is my best friend and soulmate, so we've never had any serious compatibility issues to deal with - we genuinely love each other - just totally different biological clocks. Reading this book mainly reenforced many "common sense" relationship issues that are worth remembering, the most important being " always treat your wife as you would a best friend."
G**0
Five Stars
Very good.
M**R
not graet
its not what thought it would be, its all stories about other people, its not for me so I would not recommend, if you want facts
M**N
Best book I have ever read.
If you are short of sexual activity in your relationship and are unhappy about it, male or female you need to read this book. It may just save your relationship, even if it does not for whatever reason it will help you in a future one to avoid the pitfalls that make for an unhappy couple.
D**N
Great book!
I received the item in excellent condition. Well done. Although I've read only a few pages, even now it is is a great book!
S**I
Low desire? Then buy this book.
I didn't find this helpful. If you're the one with high desire, not pressurising or getting angry with your spouse and you're both communicating well, it's not really worth reading. It could help you understand a low desire person more and understand why it's usually good at the start, when with some one new and stop you feeling duped... The author basically admits this at the end of the book. She was the low desire person and changed the way she thought about it, made more effort etc. I found it repetitive and patronising because I don't feel my hubby and I have difficulty with communication we have a very affectionate, loving relationship and simply have totally different sex drives. The person with high desire and completely wanting to stay married has to put up with it, stay kind and encouraging to their partner, hope they'll find it in their heart to see your pain and make more effort. Don't buy this if you're wanting your low desire partner to read it, it'll gather dust because he/she won't see there's a problem. The author even admits this but later in the book says she hopes you're reading it as a couple and that 'by now your spouse should hopefully be making changes'. Not meaning to sound like I'm passing 'blame' it might help some people improve their sex lives, especially if the low desire person reads it. Not all high desire people are nasty and angry or unable to communicate their needs.
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