Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy Kindle Edition

It's not just about "coming out", especially as- not like- a porn star. These essays cover a lot more ground, mostly about how people engaged in sex work- very marginalized and/or stigmatized by mainstream society- deal with the intersection of their work and their other relationships, all the way from being very forthcoming about it to everyone, and to ways to keep one's porn and legal identities separate- and the problems with both approaches.Not that it's mostly a book about problems! Some essays are, and some focus much more on the positive effects sex work has had for many of the participants. Since the mainstream story about sex work tends to be condescending- the workers must be trafficked, or drug addicts, or broken abuse survivors- it's especially important to hear the voices of sex workers happy and comfortable in their work.(I will mention, though, that if this is the ONLY book one reads about the modern porn industry, one will likely have an overly rosy view thereof. While I don't think anyone was lying, I do know- from knowing workers myself- that this sunny view is not all there is, particularly as one gets into more "mainstream" porn rather than the queer and alternative porn that many of the essayists make.)I read this because I have a personal friendship with one of the essayists, and have admired the work of several others in attempting to bring to our culture a saner view of sex and sexuality.

(As I was reading I “tweeted “ Jiz Lee, “about halfway thru Coming Out Like a Porn Star...you owe me tissues and Visine! So far, I've laughed and cried, sometimes both at once, I've been angry and confused, and just about every other emotion. I believe Sex Workers are special but did not realize just how much!”)...This book is about being human. It’s about strength and courage, painful honesty that will break your heart and make you laugh, all at the same time. The contributors have put their very personal, private selves in the spotlight, to show how much they are willing to risk to be true to their hearts. Porn Stars, just like everyone, are found at all levels of education, talent, creativity. They can be happy, cranky friendly, withdrawn, talented and not talented, highly educated or not, have good days and bad days. They are our children siblings, parents, the boy down the street, the girl next door. They are us, sometimes whole and complete, broken and flawed, or just holding the pieces together. They are our fantasies, what we wish we had the courage to emulate. Their art is what our insecurity makes fun of. We pretend to look away, denounce our curiosity, and still we sneak peaks, fantasize. We watch porn in the darkness of our bedrooms, stare at them in the shadows of the streetlight. Their art is what our insecurities make fun of.” “We refuse to acknowledge our own prurience. This book will show you the heart of the Sex Worker, the price they pay to be true to themselves. They are laid out open and vulnerable, and we can either love and nurture, encourage and appreciate and allow them to continue creating such precious art, or we can do nothing and that's what we will get in return. Doing nothing has never provided anything of value. Please read this book and share the knowledge you gain from it.My heartfelt appreciation to Jiz Lee for putting this special book together and to all the contributors who saw the need to open up and hopefully educate. We all desire to be appreciated and validated. All of you have earned both. You have my unyielding support and eternal admiration!

If you're looking for something to get off to, you'd be better served by looking elsewhere. This is a very well-compiled and written set of essays about what it's like to work in a reviled yet heavily-patronized sector of the entertainment industry. The book is short on titillation and long on revelation - what it's like to not only work in the adult-entertainment sector, but what effects doing it has on friendships, family relationships and one's own self-image.Never before have workers in the erotic entertainment business sounded more vulnerable, more assertive, more human than in this collection of writings by mostly female porn actors and directors. (There are even some major players here, like Annie Sprinkle, Candida Royalle and Nina Hartley). Their stories may shock you, but that's because of how their lives and careers are, not because they're relying on shock to hold your attention.While I haven't finished the book yet (why hurry?), it's refreshing to hear these people describe their lives, on and mostly off-camera, and to know that no, these people are not airheads at all (some in fact hold advanced degrees).

This book is, of course, about porn, but it's also about pride, identity, family and grappling with how one's chosen profession or avocation plays out amongst the rest of your life. There are a lot of stories here about coming out to family members; sometimes it goes well, sometimes less so. Often, how others react changes over time. One thing is for sure: if you think you know what it's like to be a porn star or a porn director or creator, this book is sure to enlighten you, because it doesn't just offer one answer or perspective, but numerous ones. You'll read about those driven from an early age to take off their clothes for the cameras, and others, like feminist director Erika Lust, who were driven to create new kinds of images onscreen from what they were seeing.

I'm now in my thirties, and I wish I could have read this anthology as a teen. These essays are bursting with truth, emotion, wit, insight, and compassion. These writers from the porn community would have taught me so much about relationships of all kinds, sexuality, colonial societies, governments, and where I fit into it all. Also, it seems coming out as a porn star is similar to coming out as many other things, such as queer, neurodivergent, polyamorous, etc. If you want to start preparing for someone to come out to you, or for you to come out them, this book will paint a broad, nuanced picture of different possibilities from harrowing to heartwarming.

Possibly this book won’t do as well over here as say the US, because although we do have an adult entertainment industry in this country due to certain changes in the law about a year or so ago, ironically what you can legally watch in this country is not the same as what can be legally made here. As our Government decides what is best they of course closed off revenue to the Treasury, putting people out of work, or re-locating to shoot films in France. I’m sure the French are happy; after all they get all that lovely tax money instead.What I have mentioned above may seem irrelevant to this book, but it isn’t. With such a clear title it doesn’t really do it justice as this does take in a lot more than just the process of coming out. Ms Lee has got together a number of other performers in the adult industry, and not just those who work in front of the camera, to collect these essays. Some of the pieces are anonymous as such, and others are by people whose names you may well recognise. If you are thinking of entering the industry this book may well be of interest, and even if you are not this still makes for a stimulating read.I remember years ago that a female colleague of mine told me that she did some work elsewhere on her days off or on her leave to make some extra money to travel. I didn’t even think anything about it, until someone accidentally outed her, as she was doing nude spreads in adult magazines. I was a bit annoyed that she hadn’t told me exactly what she did, as it was a bit embarrassing to have seen her naked and others saying nasty things about her, when I knew the kind and loving person she was. So, as you can see I did very much want to read this book. With pieces here from so many different people in the business you do obviously have those who have had to come out about their sexuality, as well as then either telling family and friends about their job, or being found out, either by accident or through the malicious actions of someone else.With people from relatively stable to most definitely unstable backgrounds the adult entertainment business is just like any other, and perhaps this book may help people to realise this. It is nothing evil, or perverted, it is a service provider. It makes things – films – for the entertainment of others, nothing more or less, and that is where the irony comes in. We all have sex, and let’s face it it can be good, there are bad times, it can be messy, and even quite noisy, and most definitely funny at times with the faces that are pulled and some of those embarrassing sounds, and we all seem happy enough with it. And then some people do it in front of a camera, and suddenly it is evil and destroys the morals of the world. In fact it doesn’t but as is pointed out here a few times by performers, because it is so prevalent and easy to access on the internet children are starting to grow up with the idea of what they see is always appropriate and normal. With certain fetishes you have to know what you are doing and have respect and trust in each other, and the reason why there is an increase in problems can be put down to easy access, but also to improper or poor sex education.Reading this book then raises all these issues and many more, including privacy and the use of pseudonyms. As you would expect there are many different and complex problems that arise here, not only in the public perception, but also at times within the industry itself, and that makes this a book that is enjoyable and thoughtful to read, and shows you the good and bad times, and how different people react. There are after all a few issues that people have concerns over and start to go a bit overboard with, and sex is one of those.

Very eye opening book about sex work, highly recommended.

I bought this book without really knowing what to expect and was very positively surprised. It's a nice collection of a large number of essays (with varying page count) from present and former sex workers of any variation, telling the stories of their coming outs. But it's not only about the coming out as a porn star to family and friends (and anyone else) but for some also (and most interestingly) about becoming self-aware of their own desires and traits. It's often a discovery and the following acceptance of one's belonging to groups like LGTBQ, BDSM, or similar people and what it means to start living in the open without the need to hide from society at large but also from oneself.The stories include some mentioning of the daily life and work conditions in porn but that's, of course, not the primary topic of this book. It's more about the individual and their personal stories surrounding family and friends, and as such it implicitly encourages the reader to also take a step forward and come clean with unresolved issues. Most of the essays convey a warm and good feeling when the protagonist finally came out and began a new and more relaxed stage of their life. It really makes one happy to be part of this process for the short time of reading the stories.I can highly recommend this book. It's an easy read and really enjoyable.

Coming out like a porn star is a collection of thoughts, mounting to be a practical ethical approach, in the line of argument to liberate the buyer of this instructional self repair line.Many things are not included in this short thought of what gay and human rights have in common.Among other things discussed there is the issue of adult and minor.The book holds the position that there is such a thing as ethics included or attached to any form of gay living.Coming out is an age related problem in life, followed later by Alzheimer's which is a mystical state of age related permanent gay happy living until the day of death.The authors display a very comforting easy to follow instruction of how to wake up to one's personal coming out storyline and reminding the reader to keep the secret of how to do so.That leads straight forward to more unanswered clusters of ethical questions related to living out any wish for a gay form of life.In general it is right to read the liberal voice of the so called gutter lands ethics.For any healthy line of lore a reader must be grateful, but this collection of essays dealing with issues such as, what has been the motivation for coming out,that is ridiculed, in a non harmful way, any reader that is underage and not mature enough to do what's a fundamental right , which is to wish for being happy and easy.Any reader that knows how to come out already that book holds no answers.A very unwelcome move in this book is that some very interesting ethical attitude is under attack in the harshest of all means.Procreation is blinded , straight forward left out out of the equation.Print is dead that's old news but that does not make it a completely dull weapon on a lazy thinker. The book does not take take up the chance of heaving in a solid as a rock argument ,why gay rights and gay living are the foundation of any given culture on the planet.Instead it propagates an itching grain of fear that comes with this book.Then on the other side of the books general line of argument , it eliminates all fear and wishes well for the reader.In terms of composition and timing created by the editor there is no wrong thinking included.The editor shows a way that is good to follow, to follow one's nature is no wrong, have no fear is a clear and strong message to be heard thru out the book.Some readers don't know all the term related wordplay the authors try to spell on the copyholder, that is not relevant for the basic whisper in this book.The mean part in this books line of argument , wishes for keeping the pandoras box theme to be locked away for good, because some folk don't allow others to be happy.Being allowed to do so , because of failed ethical argument in human rights affairs.-oppression by other humans is unwelcome.That's the downright pink silly laugh of the book claiming to be propagating a liberal code line and providing a Jack in the Box safety lock for Kids and safety first."Coming out like a Porn Star" is in no way an erotic or pornographic piece of literature, it is a beginners guide for thinking in a way that suits the needs of someone ready to come out.For Fun.It is thoroughly pinkish , no bit of it claims to be any other idea of liberty ,peace and happiness.It cheers up and is sort of whooping.General composition facts of " Coming out like a Porn Star" are that it is 309 pages long and strong and the volume is split into 58 essays on attitude on pornography,protection and privacy.The underlying moral precondition of this chain of thought remains, thru out all of the pages, to be a self-repair code line for dealing with oppression.Fear and guilt form the most part of the argument which is more of an psychological problem than an ethical or moral problem.The ethical and moral range can not be dealt with for political reasons.Which is to vocalize/verbalize, theme clusters,that don't belong to one individual level of living a happy life.The community takes care of all things unwelcome.Therefore some content is explicitly not included in this book.The book aims at adjusting the reader into a state of readiness for waking up to be a liberated happy individual that is good for fun, because of having been able to mature by lecture into a personality that is free to do what ever is up to code.The color code of "Coming out like Porn Star" is baby pink which stands for no worries all day long.The burden of a worry is washed away by reassuring the reader to be on the right way to gain experience in the field of human sexuality and nothing else .A first step to freedom from oppression by folk that don't want to know how to life and love without hurting other people for amusement.People that use force in order to control others by moral standards are cut off the control vigorously by "Coming out like a Porn Star", in this book you find no tolerance toward any of these folk for any given reason.Which is a good thing.The disgusting stench of people that abuse liberty , human and gay rights by way of turning these rights around by the most simple and derogative chain of thought is cleansed away by simply indicating the fact that there is no longer any space available in this world for minor thinking in an adults world, those folk are sent back to the places they originated from.In case there is any need for blowing up the readers self esteem a little bit more , " Coming out like a Porn Star" provides many internet links that lead to professional pornographic sites that display adult content made explicitly for consumers of modern amusement.In a mature adult there is no problem to be found or solved , is the bottom line of this book of liberational words.I would recommend to buy this book because it is a safe way of reestablishing the fundamental and innate right to be happy , especially if there is a need to protect oneself from minor thinking powers.For people that already have an initiated way of life , " Coming out like a Porn Star" holds back some ethical issues , telling the reader to stay away from argument due to the fact that nobody wants to loose lifetime on an idiots argument.The final argument for buying the book "Coming out like a Porn Star" is that some of the authors pass on funny lines that cheer up the reader when in need of a hearty laugh.