The Waiting: The True Story of a Lost Child, a Lifetime of Longing, and a Miracle for a Mother Who Never Gave Up Hardcover – May 6, 2014

Cathy LaGrow takes us through a labyrinth of emotions and memories as she presents “The Waiting,” a personal and heartwarming story of her grandmother, Minka, who survived a rape at age sixteen that produced a girl baby. Minka had to give the child away but never forgot her. Tragic, yes, but LaGrow conveys a love that was never abandoned and a dream that never disappeared.Minka didn’t suspect she was pregnant, in fact still believed that babies were brought by storks. Her mother suspected something was physically not right with her daughter, who then reluctantly told about the sexual assault in a dusty field that had happened three months earlier. Minka had never told anyone about the attack, including her mother and her precious sister, because she had no idea what it was all about except that it hurt and she was ashamed. She suffered in the silence of ignorance and embarrassment.The revelation set about an involved plan that first sent Minka to a relative, then to a home for pregnant girls where she had the baby. Two compassionate women ran the home, made all the arrangements for the baby to be adopted, and steadfastly refused Minka’s continuous pleas over the next thirty years for any information about little Betty Jane (the name she had given the baby).A Lutheran pastor and his wife raised Ruth Lee (the baby’s new identity). She had a happy life with her family and never had any desire to learn about her birth mother. She became the mother of five children, including a NASA astronaut and a West Point graduate who became an Army Lt. Colonel. She developed some health issues at age 77 and her children pleaded with her to get medical information about her birth parents. Included in 2 pounds of paper she received answering her petition for birth details were countless letters written through the years by her real mother, Minka, to the adoption home pleading for information about her, all of them either answered vaguely or not at all. She found a phone number, discovered that her mother was still alive, and the connection was finally made.Minka had a bountiful life of love, labor, and real consequence while never forgetting little Betty Jane. Many years later, at ninety-four, she was reunited with Ruth Lee, her baby of long past, herself now 77. LaGrow, Minka's granddaughter, uses beautiful language and wondrous depictions as she tells of Minka Disbrow, a woman of unbelievable resilience and determination. The reunion is glorious in its reenactment. Minka died in 2014 at 102 but had eight years of wondrous interaction with her baby girl and new family.It’s a book of both happiness and profound sorrow. It’s a granddaughter’s eloquent memoir that will wring emotions from you that maybe you thought you didn’t possess. I don’t recall reading such a touching story. Don’t miss this book.Schuyler T WallaceAuthor of TIN LIZARD TALES

I finished reading The Waiting two days ago and I’m still searching for words to write a fitting review. It deserves so much more and better than “page-turner,” “couldn’t put it down,” “unforgettable,” or similar expressions, all of which--though true--fall short.Cathy LaGrow and her collaborator, Cindy Coloma (one of my long-time favorites) demonstrate the rare ability to convey not only thought, but pure emotion through their words. Tears sprang to my eyes as I read Minka's struggle to reach the decision to relinquish her newborn baby and the love that drove her to that painful action, her life-long love for the child she could not see and hold to her breast, and her prayer for the inexpressibly sweet reunion.To begin with, all the characters are real people, their words and actions carefully telling the real story exactly as it happened, not a fictionalized adaptation. Young Minka, the central character, is intelligent but unschooled in the ways of the world. She resolutely accepts ill winds--no, stormy winds, cyclonic winds--that blow her way and by quiet inner strength adapts to what might be considered a rather poor life, turning it into a radiant and productive life. But it’s not as though Minka doesn’t hurt. Rather, she bears the ache in her breast by being grateful for God’s blessings as they fall upon her, recognizing their source and thanking the giver. I loved seeing that the perpetrator of the original crime - “It” - did not become the object of obsessive hate festering in Minka’s heart and become gangrenous to her soul.The tender feelings of motherhood and the powerful bond between mother and baby are especially well written, both in Betty Jane’s infancy and advanced age, as are the inner civil war between thoughts and emotions that fuel Minka’s decision to give up her baby for love’s sake. The reader suffers right along with Minka, aching for some reason to believe that keeping the baby was best - or that she might simply decide to keep Betty Jane, no matter what.The authors met the challenge of describing the depth of love that existed between Minka and her mother, Jennie - especially difficult to express in narrative since the family’s culture did not encourage demonstrative expressions of love.This book isn’t just a story of some things that happened. It’s a testimony to the goodness of God, who hears prayers and is influenced by the tears of those who cry out to him from anguish and yearning in their souls. We can never know what Betty Jane’s life would have been like if Minka had kept her, especially through her formative years. We only know that mother and daughter had good lives and the sweetest imaginable reunion.How fittingly the book honors the memory of this great woman, Minka de Jong Disbrow.

This beautiful tale of enduring love is entwined with the faith that pleases God, so much so that it moved the heart of God to bestow blessings beyond measure. The author has above average abilities and her pen was set ablaze with love for her grandma and admiration in it's fullness.

This is a beautifully written book which tells not only a story of love, fortitude, resilience and a remarkable woman's lifelong hope being realised but brings to life a different time and place. The history of a country through the life and experiences of one ordinary yet extraordinary woman. It had me in tears one moment and full of hope for the reunion I knew was coming the next. I couldn't put it down.

Beautifully written book. Such a moving story of love, loss and faith. Had me in tears a few times. This true story will stay with me. It would actually make a wonderful movie.

Oh my goodness, this was such a brilliantly written book. A wonderful ending to a hard journey where Minka found peace and love. Her unwavering faith throughout was inspiring and moving where I felt every hurt and joy she encountered and I cried at the end. I have often wondered how the other girl, Clara, faired after the attack. This is a fantastic book and I have recommended it to as many people as possible.

Phew! What can I say, that hasn't already been said. A true story, a remarkable woman, and a remarkable family. I wept as I read it, and shall always keep and treasure this book. Cathy La Grow, you are truly inspiring to tell this wonderful, if not heartbreaking story of Minka and Betty Jane / Ruth. I wanted to reach out to Minka, and hug her! I'm so glad they were able to find each other again, and for Minka to be reunited with this lovely, wonderful family.

I have not read a book so lovingly and wonderfully written in a long, long time. Minka and Ruth's story is a timeless example of the true love between mother and daughter. Their story is moving, often tugging at the heart. Minka's strength, optimism and perseverance throughout her life serves as a reminder of how beautiful life is, no matter the struggles. This book will long remain in my heart and I will be quick to share its existence with everyone I know!