Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations Paperback – January 1, 1993

Having just read Getting to Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this complementary book.Whether involved in low- or high-stakes negotiations, you will benefit from this book. Even simple things become clearer. For example, you learn how to move your counterpart from negotiating positions to interests. A position is a statement with support. An interest has supporting reasons that can be discussed.For example, a store might say that it does not accept returns beyond fourteen days. That’s a position. As a customer whose hasn’t even opened the packaging, you may question why it would be a problem to return the item if the price and availability remain the same as when you bought the item. The store’s interest is in not having outdated or used merchandise returned that cannot be readily resold. If you can reason with the store to view its position rather than its position, then there is room for negotiation. Even though this example is trivial, this position versus interest discussion happens in much larger and complex negotiations.I highly recommend this book, especially if you have recently read Getting to Yes.

I found this a surprisingly difficult book to read.I don't mean it's badly written, quite the opposite, or that it's too technical. In fact, it's full of practical advice, it's very well organized, and it's immediately useful. However Ury's advice also goes against our gut feeling.The author outlines five steps to negotiating in a difficult situation to break through an impasse.1. Go to the balcony.2. Step to the other side.3. Reframe.4. Build a golden bridge.5. Use power to educate.These five headings summarize themes for each main section. Stepping to the other side means putting yourself in the other person's place in order to see from their point of view how they could accept a solution. Reframing means restating the issues in a way that makes agreement easier. Building a golden bridge means, among other things, offering concessions that cost you little but gives the other side a lot. It also means pointing out to the other party the advantages to them of reaching an agreement. Using power to educate means, as a last resort, to use your own best alternative to a negotiated agreement (your BATNA) to point the cost of failing to agree.But before all that, when negotiations get difficult, one should go to the balcony. This means taking a break and not reacting in anger. When confronted or insulted in the midst of talks, it's quite natural to react in anger. Ury quotes Ambrose Bierce: "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." In other words reacting feels good but doesn't get you what you want.Every page gives similar principles and illustrates them with pertinent examples; so much so that I couldn't read through this book quickly as I had to stop and think all the time. And that's why I found the book a difficult read.A little humbling and very useful.Vincent Poirier, Tokyo

In his superb book, William Ury builds on the pricipals first put forth in his first book with Roger Fisher, "Getting To Yes." In "Getting Past No" Ury discusses the nuances and niceties of negotiating using a joint problem solving approach which is "interest based" rather than being "rights based" or "power based." Ury explains that the challenge is to convert a confrontational situation to a cooperative creative problem solving process, that integrates the parties in a negotiation into a cooperative mode, that results in the best long term agreements.The specific wonder of this book, is its focus on what to do, when you don't know how to get past a problem. Ury calls his method the "Breakthrough Strategy" and is virtually totally as applicable for mediators as it is for negotiators. In fact, several times, Ury mentions that a mediator may assist the process.Simply put, Ury contends that there are basically 5 things that one needs to do to preserve smooth negotiations and to break through an impasse if it occurs. He calls these 'steps' by the following designations: "Go To The Balcony", "Step To Their Side", "Reframe", "Build Them A Golden Bridge" and "Use Power To Educate." These simple concepts are extremely useful tools for negotiators and mediators alike.There is no disappointment in this book. The approach and the writing style are just superb. Once again, the Harvard Group, especially William Ury, have produced a book that anyone can gain from and is almost a must for those in dispute resolution and negotiation on a day to day basis.

I’ve read this book a number of times and consider it a must read. However, I’ve come to notice that every political person that is mentioned in a favorable light (modern history) is a Democrat. Has political crap infiltrated every facet of our lives at this point? There was not a single noteworthy of a Republican that could be mentioned?

Surprised at the depth and wisdom in this book, teaching you about dealing with difficult people in all sorts of situations, but in a way that’s applicable to sales.

Fantastic. The author is a great speaker and knows what he’s talking about. The material is usable is a variety of places. I use it for work in many facets.